Seeds of Language by DeUndrae

This is the second poem I did. Written it today. I'm not adept at poems yet since I hardly write them. It might not be good, but hey, The whole point is to improve, right? Please comment as I need to improve on my writing skills.

Writing--God's gift.
The fruit of language.
Making human hearts grow
into the gift of life.
Sow the seeds of language, children of God.

Yet the Tree of Knowledge
tainted human hearts
and thus tainted language as well.
Oh, why must Adam eat the fruit?
Must we, his descendents, suffer as well?

But what's this I see?
A lion digging its fangs on impurity?
"Language is forever tainted," it says,
"But you writers of Life are hope."
Bear the fruit and produce, children of God.

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Comments

Gary Jarvis

03 April 2009

Hi DeUndrae,

I equally have no knowledge of poetry really but whilst this is short it really struck something within me and I really enjoyed reading this I have to say it is excellent.

Look forward to reading more.

Regards
Gary

jobejo

03 April 2009

yeh id say this is good, i like the rhythm at the end of each stanza. 
im not really into religious poetry, but i still enjoyed it - i especially like the image of the lion - is this a religious symbol? 
overall id say v good.

totalwitch

04 April 2009

I don't have a lot of knowledge on poems either but is sounded nice. I don't have a lot of knowledge on religion either but wasn't it Eve that ate the fruit first or was it only if Adam ate the fruit that they would be cast out?

debbie reynolds

01 May 2009

I liked this Poem and the way in which you got your message across. 'The fruit of language' brilliant use of words, something we can relate to. Keep up the brill work!

Shakespril

16 March 2010

I can not believe that you are not a poet at all...You are simply great! This poem shows...

^_^

Also see: Rise of the Angry Potato (Dr Steevens) • i have acted like a fool (jobejo) • Sweet Loneliness (Dr Steevens) • SPRING (mature gent) • My limit (Simone) • Listening (KittyNadem) • MUM A MOTHERS DAY THOUGHT (mature gent) • the water came home (jobejo) • Drowning (Modified09) • Addiction (wild bill28)

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Writer DeUndrae	Total posts: 141
Roles: Writer

UNITED STATES

I'm Deundrae. I've been writing for a period of time now when it comes to short stories--though I haven't the time to write with college coming--but I still have lots to learn before being published (I ... (Read more)

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