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angeliki,
I found this article after reading your post on the writing chat requesting that people point out your flaws as you say you have a hard time with your grammar and make many mistakes.
This is a good piece. It's well written and contains great imagery and emotion. On the grammar front there is nothing that I think I can add. You just need to lay it out in a more legible fashion. Take a look at other poems and how they're set out in lines to assist the reader.
Otherwise a very good piece.
JD |
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I really like this too Angel and to prove we are all different - I like the way it is set out. I understand what JD is saying also!
:0) |
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Angeliki,
I can see exactly what your intention was with this piece, and approve of the way you have carried it out. It's not a poem in the conventional way, so should not be laid out as one. I am a big fan of the 'stream of consciousness' style, and of blurring the boundaries between poetry and prose to create interesting, unique, and original works. Keep it up!! |
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Thank you everyone, your comments mean so much to me :) |