***I would like advice on whether this poem should be one whole or divided (the last verse could stand alone); on whether the metaphor in VERSE 1 of being stained and incorporated into the blackness is effective/could be enlarged upon; whether the last line of VERSE 1 is effective; whether VERSE 3's last line with the dog being unable to 'rouse his world to life' is effective (any improvement suggestions welcome); and of course any other suggestions/advice/points!
From inside looking out,
the world is black.
Its black invades me.
I am stained
into the world outside,
my mind drowning in its intense colourlessness.
The inane and gaudy flashing of a television screen
has no power over the darkness;
a candle lit can be blown out;
the bulbs of streetlamps fade and fail.
And the darkness brings with it that silence
which persists through noise:
the crunching gravel of a home-going car
cannot break its rule;
neither can the rhythmic click of a clock;
and when a dog barks, he fails to rouse his world to life.
A woman's heels clap the paving stones, echoing gently,
as she passes beneath my open window;
the leaf-rustling wind gathers her scent and throws it up to me;
and though she may be dressed in all the colours of the world,
now she is invisible, a mass of melted black.
The blinking of my eyes slows, and they lose focus -
like my mind, which then is led to its sleeping-place
by the soft feathery hand of night:
there is no resistance; the shutting down of my self is done gladly.
My eyes rest themselves as I float into my other life,
my deeper self living in brighter light than my surface skin will ever see.
Here darkness has no rule - no place at all.
These worlds of mine continue. The cycle is not broken.
I do not die; neither do I live. I am.