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CHILDRENS FANTASY PROLOGUE AND FIRST PART OF CHAPTER 1. I first posted this story over a year ago. Since then I have finished chapter 1 and made a few changes, and added two more chapters. Hopefully anybody who reads the beginning will be interested enough to read on. I would appreciate appreciate critique from anybody who does so, and thankyou for your time. Travelmaster. by travelmaster

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CHILDRENS FANTASY PROLOGUE AND FIRST PART OF CHAPTER 1. I first posted this story over a year ago. Since then I have finished chapter 1 and made a few changes, and added two more chapters. Hopefully anybody who reads the beginning will be interested enough to read on. I would appreciate appreciate critique from anybody who does so, and thankyou for your time. Travelmaster.

By travelmaster | Posted: 18 May 2010

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PROLOGUE
   Far to the north there lies a great mountain range that marks the divide between two bitter enemies, who between them direct the destiny of all humankind. Since time immemorial the balance of that control has been played out time and time again through the annals of human history, where men fought their wars for kings, who built cities and great monuments that they might boast of their achievements, unaware that they were no more in control of their fate than is a small fishing boat caught in the fury of a mighty storm.
Miikon looked thoughtfully at the uppermost peaks of those mountains. Dark impenetrable clouds moved almost imperceptibly down their snowbound slopes, and even from that distance he could hear a steady rumble of thunder as jagged bolts of lightning leapt from their heart creating a sinister display against the darkening sky. This he knew was not the work of nature but something altogether more menacing, and as such was the reason for his journey this evening. With a last glance over his shoulder he vanished through what appeared to be a barrier of solid rock but was actually an ingeniously designed entrance cut from that rock, and when relocated was nearly impossible to see. Once inside he followed a natural passageway carved out over eons by the relentless force of a long dead river. This in turn brought him to a rock face into which was built a huge doorway which at his approach opened to reveal an immense cavern, whose roof was lost in the blackness of the mountain to which it belonged. Decorating one of its walls were exquisitely ornate sculptures crafted from the very bedrock of the mountain itself, and in between these were beautifully made lamp holders bringing light where otherwise there was none. Running parallel to these sculptures was a pathway leading to a room that had been hewn into the stone, and there seated round a large wooden table were twelve robed figures awaiting Miikons arrival.             

He took his place at the head of the table and the council members who had all stood up in his presence retook theirs. Miikon looked at each individual before he spoke. "You are all aware of the reason for this meeting. Once again we are under threat from those who seek to destroy us and we are ill prepared to repel them. All our intelligence thus far had indicated that Mordru is no better placed to make an attack against us, than are we to defend it. Recently however there have been signs, that we all have witnessed, which suggest otherwise." He turned to the man on his immediate left. "Aldron do you have any further news for us?"  

"My lord," Aldron hesitated before he continued. "There is nothing we can find to suggest that Mordru has the resources or the inclination to embark on such a campaign for some years yet to come."

"Congratulations Aldron." These words spoken by his opposite number carried not praise but derision. "Perhaps then you have not bothered to look to the north these past weeks, for if you had you would realise that Mordru has located a seer."

Aldron looked back at the speaker with disdain. "Thank you Elgrin for those words of wisdom but as always you speak with your heart and not with your head, and as always it is left to me to show you your error. We already know when next it will be possible for Mordru to use a seer, and that is not for some time yet."   

"It would seem Aldron that history has taught you nothing, and once again you underestimate Mordru. We must use our own seer now before we are left defenceless."   

This last statement from Elgrin brought murmurs from the rest of the council, some of approval others not. A lone voice spoke. "He is not ready, if indeed Mordru has located a seer he will be more than a match for our own."

Again the murmur of voices as Elgrin raised his hand to gain their attention."Let us not forget, this time we have the option of two."   

Even before he had finished speaking Aldrons voice cut across his own. "This is madness; Mordru cannot possibly have located a seer so soon. That whole display is a sham for our benefit. He is trying to draw us out knowing that a seer can only remain here for a limited period, and once used cannot return until the next appointed time." He paused for effect, "yet you would have us use them both together. Perhaps it would be easier to surrender here and now, for that will be the result if we play Mordrus game."    
Elgrin brought the flat of his hand down hard on the table. "Since when has Mordru or anyone else for that matter, had the power to create that sort of illusion? It can mean only one thing he is   preparing to bring through a seer, we can delay no longer."

The debate continued until finally Miikon rose to his feet and the council became silent.                  "We have reached a point where we must make a decision, before you vote I will make my own view clear. I believe that Mordru has somehow located a seer, and if that is so this may well be the most important vote you will ever take."

After the vote had been taken the count was equally split and Miikon was called on to make the final decision. He spoke quietly but firmly, "let us begin our preparations." 







      	CHAPTER ONE

As the car turned into the drive of the old house Lewis and Gemma could hardly contain their excitement, they had been looking forward to this day for months and now they were to finally move in. Their father who was a builder, bought the house last year purely as an investment; but very soon they had all fallen in love with the atmosphere of the place. Why this should be none of them could quite put a finger on, because the building had been empty for many years and needed a great deal of renovation. But as the work progressed they had started to feel a strong sense of belonging and Mum and Dad decided to sell the family home and move in here.         
There was a bit of a mystery surrounding the house, because when the last owner of the property had died there were no known heirs, and consequently the house remained empty and neglected. Then quite suddenly, a distant relative had shown up and laid claim to the estate. He had had no interest in living in the house so put it up for sale through a local property auction.  
It was only through an unusual set of circumstances that Dad had become aware of the sale at all, and on a whim he decided to go along to the auction. To his surprise the bidding was very slow and it was only then, that he became interested in the property. He waited until the auctioneer made his final call and put in his own bid. Once again he was surprised that nobody made a counter bid and he bought the house for a ridiculously low price.  
Now at last the big day had arrived, and they couldn't have asked for one more perfect. The sky was a brilliant blue and the late afternoon sun sent flickering points of incandescent light dancing through the branches of the trees that lined the driveway, and seemed almost to welcome their arrival. They all climbed from the car and looked with satisfaction at their new home. How different it was from the run down dishevelled house that had greeted them on their first visit, with its cracked and broken windows alongside which corroding downspouts hung precariously from dilapidated guttering, and the whole picture of neglect was compounded by weed infested chimneys sitting atop a roof with countless missing slates. Now the transformation was complete, and the result was a truly beautiful country house, which even though it stood only a mile from town could just as well have been set in the heart of a medieval landscape.  
"OK kids let's get these cases into the house" said Dad. Then turning to his wife, "well Sue we're here, are you still happy it was the right thing to do?" 
"Yes love you know I am, its perfect." 
Mike Bradshaw smiled at His wife fondly. He already knew what her answer would be, but he had become so attached to the house himself that he just wanted to hear her say it. Everyone helped unload the cases and last few personal items they had brought with them, and with that the move was complete. Lewis and Gemma busied themselves arranging their bedrooms to their liking while Mum and Dad applied the finishing touches to the downstairs rooms, and then as evening approached they sat down for a first meal in their new home. The dining room was located at the back of the house, and a pair of French windows opened onto a patio beyond which a large lawn gave way to an old overgrown kitchen garden, and after that Gemma and Lewis could only guess at because they knew that the house was set in quite spacious grounds.  
"May we go and explore?"  
Mum looked across the dinner table at her son and shook her head. "I'm sorry but we still have lots to do; besides you two promised you would wash up this evening."

Lewis was disappointed he desperately wanted to have a good look round but he put on a brave face. "OK. Come on Gem let's go." 
Their mother smiled at them both. "Besides it's the weekend, you'll have all day tomorrow to explore."
Later that evening after Lewis and Gemma had gone to bed Mum and Dad were sitting outside on the patio taking advantage of the long summer evening. To the west the sun had taken refuge behind a large group of trees but still sent shafts of golden light streaming across the evening sky, while the only sounds to be heard were those made by nature. Somewhere in the distance a cuckoo called from an unseen perch deep inside her leafy hideaway, while a blackbird sang for everyone to see from the top most branch of a nearby oak, declaring to all the ownership of his territory. Above an ornamental pond a group of mosquitoes danced back and forth as if to taunt a shoal of fish swimming just below the surface, and every so often the sound of a splash told that some had strayed to close.    
Dad finally spoke, but quietly as if unwilling to disturb the peace that surrounded them. "You know love it was because of a day just like this that we are sitting here at all." Mum looked at him quizzically. "Well, it was the day that I saw this place up for auction. The weather was so nice that I decided to turn at Thornton heath and come home through the country lanes; to this day I don't really know why, I mean I pass that junction most days and never consider it because it's so much longer."
His wife smiled at him. "Well I'm glad you did."
"Yes so am I, but that isn't the end of it, as I turned for Wilstan a wagon had become stuck on the bend. What the driver was thinking of using those roads in the first place I don't know, but it was too far to turn back so I headed home through Brackenfield, and that's where I saw the notice for the auction. Anyway as it happened, the next day I was out that way to price a job and decided to pop in and have a look. I hadn't been there more than ten minutes when this place came under the hammer. Looking back it's almost as if the Gods had conspired to put me there."    
Mum smiled again. "Well they must have been pleased with you because it's a beautiful house." 
Dad grinned impishly. "That's not what you said the first time you saw it."
"Well what did you expect? You came home one evening and announced without so much as a word to me that you had bought a house, and then you brought me out here to see a ruin."
"It wasn't a ruin" Dad said defensively. "A little weather worn I'll grant you, but nothing........" 
A well aimed cushion brought his sentence to a close.
"A little weather worn my eye, it was a shambles and you know it. Still I forgive you; it's all been worthwhile in the end." They talked for a little longer then made their way up the large stairway to their bedroom. 
Lewis sat bolt upright in bed. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the dim moonlight that filtered through the curtains, his heart was still hammering in his chest as his brain tried to make sense of the unfamiliar surroundings. Then finally he became aware of where he was, and that he had been dreaming. The clock on the bedside cabinet told him it was a little after two o'clock and he lay back down to sleep. Sleep however did not come easily; his heart still beat an uneasy rhythm within his ribcage, and through his mind confused and disjointed images chased and vied with each other for prominence in his consciousness. Gradually his senses returned to normal and he fell into an uneasy sleep.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
In the bedroom next door his sister had also been dreaming, but her dreams did not carry the same intensity and she slept through them undisturbed.
The next morning the weather was just as sunny as when they had arrived and Lewis and Gemma were keen to finish their breakfast so that they could explore. Their father hearing the clatter of their knives and forks looked over his paper at them. "What's going on here? It sounds like a race to see who can finish first."
Gemma giggled. "No it's just that we want to go and explore."
"Well you have all day for that, so if you don't mind I want to see you eat in a civilised manner."
"Not quite all day" said Mum, "we need to go into town this afternoon so I want you two back here and cleaned up by two o'clock."
"Oh Mum" complained Lewis, "you said last night we had all day."
"I'm sorry but something has come up and your dad and I need both go together."
"We'll be OK on our own" said Gemma, after all Lewis is fourteen and I'm nearly thirteen."
"If you two imagine that I would leave you out here on your own you have another think coming."
"But Mum."
"No" said their mother firmly. "I want no more arguments."
They finished their breakfast in silence and then headed outside. 
"Don't forget be back here for half past one at the latest." 
"OK" called back Lewis as they crossed the lawn and disappeared into the bushes.
Their disappointment at having to be back early was soon forgotten as they walked along together in the sunshine, and very soon they came to the end of their property. As they followed the dividing fence they came to a stile which they climbed, and on the other side found an overgrown footpath.
"Where do you suppose this leads to Lewis?"
"There's only one way to find out Gem come on let's go see." He turned and set off along the footpath leaving Gemma hurrying to catch up. This was typical of Lewis she thought to herself as she followed behind him, he didn't stop and think he just went ahead and did whatever it was that took his interest at the time, sometimes landing himself in trouble along the way. She herself had a more considered approach to life, and though by no means timid she was more inclined to give some thought to the consequences of her actions.
"Come on slow coach," he called as he strode ahead and Gemma almost had to run to catch up with him, because though there was only a little over a year between them, Lewis was tall for his age whereas Gemma like her mother was quite small. Finally she caught up with him.
"Will you slow down Lewis Bradshaw you know I've only got little legs?"
Lewis grinned at her and his blue eyes which were complimented by dark hair sparkled with amusement at her indignation. "I'm sorry Gem I forgot you were a midget."
She gave him what she hoped was her most condescending look. "And I shall treat that remark with the contempt it deserves."
They walked at a more leisurely pace now, because despite his teasing Lewis was normally happy to comply with his sisters' wishes, and though Gemma would never let him know, she loved him for it. After a while the path started to climb slightly and an hour or so further on they found somewhere to sit down and eat the sandwiches they had brought. As they looked back at the way they had come they realised that the footpath curved slightly but steadily to the right, and from their vantage point they were able to see their house and its surroundings, and as they looked something caught Gemma's attention.
"What do you think that is Lewis?"
"Where are you looking Gem?"
"At the far end of our property, there's a thicket of trees and there looks to be some kind of building amongst them. I'm sure I can see what looks like a roof."
Lewis followed where she pointed. "You're right Gem there's definitely something there, though I'm not sure what it is."
 Intrigued they finished their sandwiches and set off home to investigate further. By the time they reached the stile it was already twelve thirty and they hurried on in the direction of the thicket.  They soon found it and started to pick their way through the undergrowth and then suddenly the way cleared and there in front of them was a single story sandstone building. It was about twelve metres long by maybe eight metres wide with a slate roof and small arched windows which gave it the appearance of a chapel. They walked round to the other side of the building where the doorway was located, and that too had the same arched shape as the windows. The door itself was a large solid wooden affair and when they tried to open it there was hardly any movement, but there was some, and this told them that at least the door was not locked.  
"It's probably all this ivy holding it" Lewis said, "Let's see if we can clear some away."
"Not now Lewis," replied Gemma. "We promised to be home by half past one, let's come back tomorrow when we'll have more time."  Reluctantly Lewis agreed and they set off back to the house.
        That night Lewis again awoke with a start from his dreams but this time the images were clearer, and at their forefront was the building they had discovered earlier. Because he had been thinking about it as he went to bed that was no real surprise and he lay back down to sleep. The clock showed a little after two o'clock. 	
The next morning as soon as they had finished breakfast they set off back to their secret house stopping on the way to borrow some tools from dads shed, and once they had arrived wasted no time in tackling the ivy that covered much of the building. After about an hour they managed at last to free the door from the grip of the creeper that had held it prisoner for so many years, and with one final push it reluctantly creaked open. They stepped inside but despite the light from the open doorway could see very little, so they stood and waited for their eyes to adjust to the darkness before continuing. Even when they had become accustomed to the poor light there was very little they could see, because the windows if anything, were even more choked with ivy than the door had been. As they looked ahead of them they could make out a door leading to another room and Lewis moved toward it.  
"Let's clear the windows first," suggested Gemma. "At least then we'll be able to see more."            As Lewis turned, his foot caught on something, and stooping to take a closer look he saw a metal ring in the floor. 
"Look at this Gem, maybe it's a trapdoor, come on let's hurry with the windows so we can have a better look." 
The windows proved considerably more difficult to clear than the door because as well as being very overgrown they were at an awkward height, but they eventually managed it and went back inside for another look. The windows were very dirty, but they let in enough light to see by and now it was clear that the metal ring was indeed attached to what appeared to be a stone hatchway in the floor. It soon became obvious however that this was going to present a much bigger problem than the door had done and despite all their efforts the stone remained immovable.
It was now close to lunchtime, so hot and thirsty they headed off home for some much needed refreshment. 
"I dreamt about this place last night," said Lewis.
"Yes me to, it was really strange. We were here at night and for some reason we couldn't find our way out, and when we did......"
"And when we did," interrupted Lewis. "We were somewhere completely different."
"How did you guess that?" asked Gemma amazed.
"Because that's just what happened in my dream," said Lewis slowly. They walked on, neither of them speaking until Gemma broke the silence.
"That's really spooky, both of us having the same dream." 

They continued on their way in silence both a little shaken by having shared the same dream. When they arrived home they went into the kitchen for a drink and from there they could hear voices coming from the lounge, one was Mums and the others they didn't recognise. They walked in to find mum and dad, and with them were a man a woman and a girl aged about fifteen. Mum smiled as they entered the room.
"You two are just in time to meet our new neighbours. This is Mr and Mrs Allen and their daughter Riama, they live in the next house down the lane and they've called in to welcome us. Isn't that nice of them?"
"We are having a barbeque this afternoon," said their father, "and our guests have agreed to join us, so if you two would like to get changed then perhaps you could show Raima around."
"OK dad," said Gemma and they made their way to their rooms. On the way upstairs Gemma noticed that her brother was unusually quiet.
"What's wrong Lew You look as though you've seen a ghost?"
"It's that girl downstairs."
"You mean Raima?"
"Yes I know her."
"Do you, where from?"
"Well that's the strange thing, I can't think of anywhere we could have met, and yet I know her face."   
Gemma said nothing more because she was now feeling a little unsettled herself, and although she hadn't felt as strongly as her brother, immediately she saw Raima she knew there was something familiar about her.
When they came back downstairs everybody was in the garden so they went outside and joined their father who was talking to Raima. He turned to them both. "We won't be ready to eat for another hour so that gives you plenty of time to show Raima around."  

They knew that dad was just giving them the opportunity to get to know one another and so the three of them walked off together. They soon found that Raima was very pleasant company and before long they were all the best of friends. 
"How long have you lived round here Raima?" Gemma asked. 
"Only about six months, we used to live in Dibbinsfield before that, and then Dad was given a promotion at work so we had to move up here to be near the factory. It was all a bit sudden really. I heard Mum and Dad talking, and Dad was saying how surprised he was because there were people with more experience than him and yet he had been offered the job as manager. "
As they talked Lewis realised that there walk had taken them near to their secret house. "Do you think Raima would like to see the place we found?" He said to Gemma. 
"Oh yes I'm sure she would, what a good idea." Then turning to Raima she said. "We found a building amongst those trees over there, it was overgrown with ivy and it took us nearly all morning just to get the door open."
Raima smiled, "No wonder you both looked so hot when you walked in, I bet it was hard work."
Laughing together they walked on toward the trees and Gemma walking in of the middle of them realised that despite Lewis's height Raima was just as tall. She was also very pretty and it was obvious that Lewis thought so too. Soon they were through the trees and standing in front of the building.  
"What do you think?" asked Lewis. "Isn't it cool?" 
Raima said nothing at first; she just stood and stared until Lewis spoke again.
"What's the matter Raima?"
"It's this building, I feel as though I've seen it before, but of course I can't have because this is the first time I've been here."
They walked round to the doorway and went inside where Lewis showed her the metal ring attached to the floor.
"We've tried everything but it just won't budge. I'm sure it's supposed to open because it's so much bigger than the rest of the flagstones but we can't get it to move even a fraction."
"Raima pointed to the other door. "What's through there?"
"We haven't been in there yet. We were so busy here we didn't even look." 
"Well let's take a look now," said Gemma stepping forward to open the door and they all walked through. It was darker in here because the adjoining door let in less light than did the entrance, but there was still enough to see by, and as their gaze fell on the rooms' interior they could see it was very different to the one they had just exited. From the walls there hung tapestries depicting scenes that appeared to be of a religious nature and the wall facing them was quite clearly an altar. 
As Lewis looked around a feeling of awe came over him because he knew he had seen this room before, yet how could that be possible? The answer suddenly came to him. This had been the scene of his dreams on the first night they all moved into their new home. Stunned, he turned toward the girls and he knew by their faces that the room had also had a profound effect on them. Nobody seemed willing to say anything until finally Raima spoke.
"It's really stuffy in here; I'm going outside for some fresh air."
"Yes me too," said Gemma. "Are you coming Lew?"
Lewis's attention had been caught by something on the opposite wall.
"You two carry on I'll join you in a minute." He turned and crossed the room to where a statuette was mounted above the altar, and as he studied it he realized this had been a very strong image in his dreams. He tried to lift it but it remained firmly rooted to its base. 
"What are you doing Lew?" 
Lewis turned to find Gemma was still by the door.
"I was just curious Gem, come on let's go outside." Gemma walked through the door but Lewis turned back to face the altar and as he did so he caught his foot and tripped. Reaching out to save himself he grabbed hold of the first thing he could which was the statuette, and with the pressure of his weight it slid back into a recess in the wall.  At almost the same time he heard an exclamation from his sister in the next room.     
"What's wrong Gem" he said, and hurrying through to join her he found her staring at the floor.
"It made a noise," she said pointing to the large flagstone.
"What sort of noise?"
"I'm not sure really, I suppose it was a sort of grating noise."
By this time Raima had come back inside. "What is it," she asked Lewis who was now kneeling down by the flagstone. 
He explained briefly about the statuette and the noise Gemma had heard and then he said. "Look at this the stone has moved, it was level before but now it's about half an inch higher than the rest. Let's see if it will open now." He took hold of the ring and pulled. This time there was no resistance and the trapdoor which was counter balanced swung open easily. After a moment's hesitation they stepped up to the entrance, and there they saw a stone stairway disappearing down into a menacing inky blackness.
All articles on this website by travelmaster are copyright ©travelmaster and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
churchmouse
20 May 2010
I thought that this was very well written. To me it was like an updated Enid Blyton story and I am sure that it will appeal to 8-14 year olds. The only thing that didn't seem right was the line "At the far end of our property" as I could not imagine a 13 year old using that phrase, but other than that it was excellent. Even though it is not a genre that I would choose to read, I think that because of the excellent writing and strong story line it has great potential.
kneazle
23 May 2010
Not bad. Maybe you could go through it again - there were a few sentences that didn't sit quite right.  Good attempt at the beginning - it is hard to get original fantasy I'd imagine.

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travelmaster

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I am a taxi driver who has only quite recently discovered computers and at the same time rediscovered the urge to write. I would appreciate honest criticism of my work. Thank you to anyone who takes the ... (Read more)
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