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The race

By Elaine | Posted: 02 July 2009

Views: 299
In articles by Elaine
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Orbiting, circling, gliding around the sun
The blue and green planet is on the run
From asteroids in outer space
And the follies of the human race
From its occupants it can't escape
Like a plague of locusts they breed and rape
Taking everything of any use
They leave the earth defiled and abused
Too late they realise the error of their ways
That life is short and it is the end of their days
The shining bright orb of the sun 
Will still keep a silent watch on the planet on the run.
All articles on this website by Elaine are copyright ©Elaine and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
Mr Richard
10 July 2009
Liked what you were saying.
poppy101
23 July 2009
I think Clifton is right about the first three words - you could just cut out two of the words altogether - sometimes less is more.  I actually think the word rape fits - if you're talking about the extremes of human activity striping away the earths natural resources - is it not the same as selfishly  and violently taking what they want with no regard for the recipient?
The last line jars a bit - I would be tempted to put:-
'Will still keep a silent watch on the planet...
on the run.'

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Elaine

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I loved writing as a teenager and have rediscovered my passion for story telling
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