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Unlikely Love Story: Messed-up affair-(END) by unjust03

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Unlikely Love Story: Messed-up affair-(END)

By unjust03 | Posted: 28 June 2012

Views: 1253
Alcohol
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In genre / category Romantic comedy
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February 14, 2012.

 

Kimball decided to pursue his proposal towards Arabella.

He single-handedly arranged every detail except for one thing, and it was the most important part to these big event.

Arabella.

How he'll gonna convinced her to come with him to his place, where everything started 10 years ago?

That made him freakin out.

And his friends aren't any help too, instead they just teases him.

Also, he just learned a minute ago, that "his" girl doesn't even have a single closest friend on CRS to be his accomplice. 

He got no other choice left but to man up and asked her out personally. 

Fortunately, she agreed. 

"What the hell, let's try that", he remembered her saying while tilting little her head. 

He's so excited he can't sleep the night before. 

 

The moment comes.. 

And Arabella didn't show up.

Next thing he knew, he was talking to Marga, his ex-girlfriend, over the phone and ended up to her condo unit.

He was so pissed he couldn't even force himself to kiss that seductive woman before him. What on earth is happening to him? 

He apologized and invited her to go out instead and catch some fun at the bar w/c she declined. 

Hence, he went home and let himself get drunk and wasted. 

 

+ARABELLA+ 

Arabella saw Kimball with a familiar face. The chic looks hot.

Seeing him with another woman ripped her heart out. She came here to see her friend SHIN when Kimball and that girl arrived; she hid herself and hurriedly leaved that place forgetting her original plan why she went there in the first place. 

Before that, 5 hours ago.. 

She learnt that she's pregnant, 

AGAIN..  

For the second time, to that same man who fathered her beloved son, Nathan, now, a 10-year-old sweet kid.  

She never regretted to have him but doing the same mistake seems a bit  too old for her to play or maybe she was just a plain stupid skunk.  

Her past's pain and misery mocked her.

She felt scared that she called Shin to meet up with her tonight. Forgetting everything including the supposedly date with Kimball.  

 

Going back to the present,

She can't believed what she just saw. She felt like she was being used and the worst part of it, iwas that she let him to. 

Either way, they both agreed to be casual yet she didn't expect him to cheat on her.

In one way or the other, though they don't have any official relationship,she still felt the pain flowing deep down inside her body. Knowing that besides her, he was seeing another woman broke her ego and maybe her heart too.

 

The next day, 

Arabella lied about her reason why she hadn't made on their date. But Kimball on the other hand, doesn't seem to care.

His cold stare makes Arabella assumeed, of course, the worst.  

What should it be? 

She decided to broke up with or whatever. This time she will not going anywhere.

Yet, she filed an indefinite leave of absence to sort out the next chapter of her life and thankfully he approves it.

She needed some good self-reflection. 

In a way, she'd decided to face the fate she'd chosen to trekk without blaming him or anyone, head on. 

She soon to be a mother again on their 2nd love child and she didn't want her soon-to-be-child to call her a coward. She'd been here, exactly the same road she'd trek 10 years ago and maybe she can get through with it again today. 

 

At the park, 

Arabella told everything to her personal shrink, Shin her best friend from high school. And he was right yet again.  

"Truth will always be absolute. You can deny it, shade or bend it, it will still stay the same. There's still been right and wrong. For now you were on the wrong side but you can make it right", he said silently. 

 

Arabella reflects on her situation. Her head was spinning she can't wrapped up what's he's been saying.  

She honestly wanted to tell him that she's trying her best, just that it wasn't good enough for her to confess her feelings towards Kimball. 

Due to the sudden attack of stress, Arabella felt dizzy and ready to pass out in any moment. Shin caught her and carries her towards the bench. 

 

And that's the scene Kimball witnessed. Though, he's playing tough, he still care for her, and by the way he was not stalking her. He just bumped into that same park where she was and her man.  

Okay fine, maybe he was spying on her since the day they'd broken up. 

He just wanted to win her back yet every time he started his moves, something went off. 

That brings him on this park and saw her with that blonde guy. 

He clenched fist. The muscles on his neck tightened. 

He was so ready to stranggle that blonde guy when a sight of a young man came into view and approached them.  

The little boy hugged and kissed them both, and that got him stopped. 

His shoulder felt heavy when he realizes that Arabella has a family. That, maybe she was just a bored wife and during the time of her hunting he was there, available to be her prey for the game she was playing. 

Again, for the second time, she broke his heart without even her knowing it. 

His mind looked back from the time he admited to himself that she did loved her  down to the day on his building and saw her again. 

It's exactly 10 years now and still, he did nothing. And when he saw her again, he agreed on her no-strings-attached policy. 

Now, he can't help himself wonder what could have been when he searched for her and confessed his feelings 10 years ago? 

What if he'd stopped her when she broke up with him? And yet it will never change the fact that she had a child.  

But what if he told her the true story behind his lies? 

Would she believe him? Would she stay?  

So many things he wanted to do but he was way too late now. 

And like a loser he turned his back and took off just like that.

-----------------------------------------------------END---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Notes:

What your naked eyes see's was not what really it seems. 

Sometimes, love is not enough to make two people live together. 

Regret comes from a long way. 

No one knows anyone. 

Asking does wonders. 

Life is simple were just have a lot of free time to complicate it. 

Wanted it doesn't matter, doing it matters.

Lots of Love,

unjust03

PS: please let me know what u think about the whole story, I wanna know. Thanks.

All articles on this website by unjust03 are copyright ©unjust03 and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
Space Epic
28 June 2012

Reading through the five entries, Arabella had a charm about her initially, and the writing conveyed this, particularly your occasional breaking of the fourth wall where her thoughts seemed to be chummy with the reader, as a teenage reader might enjoy reading.   After a time, though, the character seemed a good bit too "in to herself", and this was particularly emphasized by the writing style that soaked itself into her emotional thoughts and sort of narrated them along instead of creating moments of action that would "show" and not just "tell" things about her character.   It is written in a 3rd person format, but conceptually seems 1st person in execution.  I think part of this, though, was caused my mixing verb tenses (past and present) in the sentences, which is something you can remedy upon second pass.
 
The character's thoughts, in later years, still seemed very much that of a teenager-at-heart, frozen in time in how she viewed the world, without a sense of some believable evolution in her inner nature.  The time lapse of eight to ten years had no mention of her son (until the last chapter, as I recall), which tended to emphasize a self-centeredness, and the fact that much of her thinking was still not as matured as I would have expected, what with the raising of a child that one is responsible for, and a full-time job, etc.  Admittedly, this was based on first blush.
 
Although I recognize her desperate need for love, her reaction to that life-changing night back when, and a bit of immaturity may all be key misbehaviors that are designed to drive the story, I would also like to have seen moments that conveyed more sympathy/empathy with this lead character, as we are being required to travel with her inside her head much of the time, and observe her hormonal nudgings, emotions, and testing out of life experiences (whether we agree with them or not).  Perhaps some interactions with her son, or her parents, could work to show another side of her we can relate to and be drawn into.   
 
As a recap, I would work on formatting, should you decide to revise this story.  Having each sentence as its own paragraph makes the reading feel too choppy.  I think you can add fluidity to this by going back and rendering paragraphs that better consolidate.  Regardless of whether English is a first or second language, it is a damn tricky one with all the rules and exceptions and mush of word origins/spellings.   Having said that, I would examine each sentence and render some consistency to the verb tenses and polish up the sentence structures as a whole, which will make for an easier read. 
 
As well, you make a nice set of notes at the end concerning some of the themes.  I would take those and see how you can weave those into the story with more memorable moments that demonstrate character, as opposed to just saying what the character is always thinking.  You need to give the reader some juicy work to do, and they will thank you for it.  So by more showing and less telling, you can move toward that goal.
 
I checked out some of your other links and it looks like you do quite a bit of writing and this is a big part of your life.  Huge kudos to you for that, and I hope you will continue with all earnestness as your heart dictates.  I wish I would have had your enthusiasm to have stayed with it consistently when I was younger.    Thanks so much for sharing your words.  Young writers such as yourself are always an inspiration, as well as a profound kick in the seat of the pants for those of us that need it.