Lonely WolfMan by alice t

On the corner of a busy city street, a man sits. As lonely and shaggy as the lone Wolf. 

He sits in wait ready to pounce on his next rich victim.

Hands shake: a sign that he is ready for his quich fix that will give him solace from the horror of the world.

So there he waits and watches people just like him walk past. Confusion on his mind, he had the same life....sometime ago...

Eyes closed, his mind wader back to the past 

Images flash. Heats warms at the sight of his friends and family. A slow smile spreads across his face.

the love and joy that was then and now lost. The look of happinesss in his love's eyes.....tears spilt because of him.

His screams echo in his mind screams of mental pain.

But now here he is waiting for the gaurdian angel to grant him peace from this monstrosity that peopple call life.

Smells of food sllither up his nostrils like a snake down to the insides of his belly, 
where it rumbles like thunder

Please god, please god! release me from this hell!

He walks away with nothing but an empty stomach, a day without his artificail solace and the pain that screams and never shuts up.

All articles on this website by alice t are copyright ©alice t and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.

Comments

JD Higginson

28 April 2009

Hi alice.

There's a good story under this piece but it's unfortunately marred by poor sentence structure and gammar. Have a look over it again and read it out loud to yourself to try and grasp how things should be written. It's a shame because the idea of the point of view is a decent one.

Good luck and keep it up.

JD

zion613

28 April 2009

Good concept - a little polishing, and it could be a very powerful piece.

;)

Reiner

28 April 2009

I agree with the previous remarks. One point springs to mind that the others haven't mentioned. You spell wolf with an uppercase w and yet you spell god with a lowercase g. I wondered if there was a reason for this.

Reiner

Reiner

28 April 2009

I agree with the previous remarks. One point springs to mind that the others haven't mentioned. You spell wolf with an uppercase w and yet you spell god with a lowercase g. I wondered if there was a reason for this.

Reiner

Michel Henri

28 April 2009

I can feel the pain, l to have been there.
A riviting start to a deep tale, where will it go l can not tell.
But l want to know so please make this story grow. Waiting for a gaudian angel who may not show, tell me more as l want to know.
Good stuff
Michel Henri

alice t

30 April 2009

thanks for your comments. i will improve and polish it! the reason for using a capital W on Wolfman is because that is his name in the poem and i didnt use  capital g for God is because the man no longer believes in God.