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You have a good heart and wonderful writing skills, l love your work as it is so real, good stuff and please keep writing with your heart. Michel Henri
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A good poem that starts really lively but feel loses some of it's charm towsrds the end.
Goodjob, though.
JD
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Thanks for your comments.
JD, could you explain?
;)
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5th stanza may be better placed in 2nd or taken out cos it takes away some of the flow. I Love the Theme.
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I feel this sentiment is experienced by many people. Instead of eating to live, so many live to eat.
I also think it is well written and just about long enough.
Reiner.
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This poem runs like a horse - loved it - great job.
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This is a good one.
I live to eat food at times, but that isn't really the point of this poem.
Living your life in the present and not striving for that unatainable future too fast. Stop and smell the roses. Your whole life can skip you by as the sick fellow realized on his death bed.
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You got it, ruminate! That's the point! ;)
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Thank you all so much for your comments! ;)
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I owe you an apology. I've read it since and didn't stumble once. Sorry for making the comment in the first place.
Keep it up.
JD
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I like it. It is similar to my philosophy. You can only enjoy yourself in the present. So whathever you are doing, working or doing the garbage, you have to try to savour it.
Coincidentally, I am listening to Elvis Costello singjng Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" as I write this.
:-)
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Very true - now where did I leave the chocolate!
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I really liked this piece. A good message in a piece which flows nicely...
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A very touching story put into a well written poem.
taylorswift97
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