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Good poem, though I would suggest that you could use commas to good effect within some of the lines. Left me feeling quite creeped out.
Good job.
JD
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Oooh...shivers. This is interesting.
;)
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Spooky.Is she a vampire? A werewolf ? A murderess? All of these things!? Or is she going to have her way in a sexual way ? Is it open to interpretation ? It has a gothic feel to me. Loked it a lot!
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Liked it a lot -I should say!
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I liked this. I'm really not a poetry reader, I've read few poets in my time.
Is she deceit personified like that ever flighty temptress - Adventure?
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Thank you for your comments - I was thinking vampish thoughts when I wrote this but funnily enough I was more annoyed with the man - just look at what he expects from her, sexual attention, protection and looking after! It's all about him hence the symbolisism of the moths which are attracted to light - the lime light and she's had enough - final message - you can only lean on a girl so much until she turns into a viper.
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I thought Vampire first. The 'leave your keys here in my pocket' made me think of the the old belieif that a vampire cannot enter your house unless invited and getting his keys is a kind of invitation. There is more to this poem than first meets the eye.Well done again!
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