The Writers' Circle

A  LETTER TO MY WIFE                                       September, 1808

Dear Gwendolyn:

     It is with much trepidation that I write because I sense you are sorely troubled and angry with me. It has been several weeks since I have had the opportunity to put my thoughts on paper. I beg your forgiveness and trust you will reach out with compassion and a tender heart when I explain what I have been through. In addition the mundane, the usual soul possessions, tormenting of saints, and trips to the future to advise Twentieth Century film makers, I have been negotiating a transaction with a fellow named Faust. Gwendolyn, in all my born days (I use that term loosely, of course), I have never dealt with such as crafty creature as he. By all the fires in Hades, I swear, Cain and Judas Iscariot were easier to manage than this rapscallion. First, I received a message of some urgency. He wanted to see me. Gwendolyn, you know when I am involved in big projects, I want no interruptions except in case of severe emergencies such as Hell freezing over. Here I am, helping Napoleon plan his next campaign. I'd almost convinced Nappy (we are on a first name basis) that he should invade America using hot air balloons, when Carlos, my new apprentice, comes charging up on my best mare. To add insult to the fact that he took Lucretia without permission and used her badly, I did not hear him coming. He frightened me-Me-the Prince of Darkness and the Underworld. 

Well, my darling, after I ceased trembling and obtained control of my knees, he handed me a piece of parchment with a message on it. The words wiped off my mind whatever punishment I had planned for Carlos. In essence it said:

     Sir:

     I have come to the end of my proverbial rope. Relentless pursuit of knowledge and my restlessness have created a spiritual void which no number of morning or evening devotions will fulfill. I crave excitement. If you can create a moment that is completely exciting to me, I shall spend eternity in Hell as your faithful servant. Please note, Sir, that I have enclosed a sample contract for your perusal. Once it is confirmed to the satisfaction of both of us, I will sign it with my blood.

                       Your humble servant,
                                Faust