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A small sacrifice

By poppy101 | Posted: 18 May 2009

Views: 245
Editor's choice
Editor's choice
Part of me wanted to leave that very night,
crash through the house with bags tumbling
down the stairs, 
and angry words in my mouth 
ready to spit at anyone who stood 
in my way.
But the poison pulsing through my head
was soothed when I saw your gentle touch.
Even though rage had turned my
eyeballs red
I watched you silently looking down, 
as she silently looked back,
and a silken invisible thread
connected father and daughter
like I never had.
So I stayed to ride out the storm,
cowering from the hail stones
and drenching in the rain, 
knowing it wouldn't last forever,
a small sacrifice,
until the sun comes out again.
All articles on this website by poppy101 are copyright ©poppy101 and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
Mr Richard
18 May 2009
This is very fine. The conflict of anger and the humility of standing back and letting go- and the little snippet of a story like a window into a life. I like it's honesty.
zion613
19 May 2009
Great job! I've sometimes felt like this, so the poem speaks to me.

A few points:

'invisable' => invisible
Also, did you mean 'as I silently looked back?' Because the 'she' makes it seem like you're suddenly adding another character, and it's a bit jarring.

Happy writing! ;)
poppy101
19 May 2009
'she' is another character - the daughter - if this woman leaves her husband she will be wrenching her daughter away from her father and despite the anger of an argument or state of marriage she doesnt deserve to break the magical thread they have together - hence the sacrifice.
zion613
19 May 2009
OH! I get it now! For some reason, I thought this was about a girl running away from home. I can't believe I did that! :$

Happy writing! ;)
debbie reynolds
20 May 2009
Deep, emotional and true to life,we all have to make sacrifices, well done.
taylorswift97
21 January 2010
Wonderful! Your writing has a strong, powerful feel to it.

Writer
poppy101

Total posts:
239
Roles: Writer
Ipswich, UNITED KINGDOM
I'm an avid reader who gets lost in the world of books. My poetry tends to be a stream of consciousness running along the pulse of emotion. I'd like to try new things but as always its finding the time ... (Read more)
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