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This also sounds good - but, well, maybe I'm a little dense, but I don't really understand the 'alas' at the end. Sorry. You do use nice descriptive language, though.
;)
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The way I think about it, I think I put alas in there because the speaker's masterpieces are made of clay, or it's because the speakers masterpieces are works of art. The masterpieces would be swept away by tsunamis and corrode, forgotten in time.
Of course, there are so many interpretations to it, and I think alas makes it all the more fun to make interpretations. Poetry is always guesswork. Of course you know the poet writes literally then figuratively (some you really don't), but what it means can always be interpreted more than one way.
You can make your own interpretations to it. It makes all the more fun.
Thanks for telling me it's good, for it was my first tanka I've written.
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I liked this one much better than your other, mainly because I understood it more. I understood the alas. It clashes nicely with the word safeguards before it which makes it sound like the masterpieces are protected before you realise the context.
Good job.
JD
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