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Haiku: Shelter

By zion613 | Posted: 10 June 2009

Views: 235
Wind buffets my tent
I can see, but never feel
Liquid bullets fly
All articles on this website by zion613 are copyright ©zion613 and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
poppy101
11 June 2009
I personnally find haiku's really difficult - I think this one is the better of the two but I dont like the second line (sorry) I do however like the other two lines.
DeUndrae
22 June 2009
I like this poem--it's just the second half of the second line that's bothering me. Somehow, to me, it feels out of place. Other than that, it's a good poem and I think you put your whole heart into it. If you can, can you critque on my Variation of the Human Spectrum poem? I think you'll like it. If you can't, that's okay.

Good job!

DeUndrae

Writer
zion613

Total posts:
302
Roles: Writer
Baltimore, MD, UNITED STATES
I'm a young stay-at-home mother. Thank God, I have a wonderful husband (who is very supportive of my writing) and three wonderful children (not so much). I like to read and write historical fiction, especially ... (Read more)
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