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I personnally find haiku's really difficult - I think this one is the better of the two but I dont like the second line (sorry) I do however like the other two lines.
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I like this poem--it's just the second half of the second line that's bothering me. Somehow, to me, it feels out of place. Other than that, it's a good poem and I think you put your whole heart into it. If you can, can you critque on my Variation of the Human Spectrum poem? I think you'll like it. If you can't, that's okay.
Good job!
DeUndrae
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