Kudos 3.50 after 5 votes |
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A Short Poem titled Passover wine
Silence shattered by squelching goosesteps
Foisty, rotten vermin collides with the burning straw of a Partagas 8-9-8,
Gagging as it tumbled to the hollow engineered floor
Three brown shirted, short back and sides, strutted
And commandeered the stage
"Not many in tonight Landlord"
"Not for a while, it's the smoking, its killing all the locals"
"But. you, yourself are smoking that filthy cigar, how can you condone it?"
"I have a longer term resistance strategy gents"
"Glass of Chablis Sergeant"
"It's from the Halacha Vinyard"
A slurp then a gulp an elbow wiping mouth
" Another, Landlord"
An hour passed and the laughter slowly faded as the venom of the bouquet spat
and with that the floor opened
three cold thuds slapped the barrells below.
Kudos 3.50 after 5 votes |
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Comments, critiques and replies
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I get that this is about Nazis, but I don't understand much else. This had potential, but you need to
make yourself much clearer.
Good luck! ;) | zion613 [304] | 05/07/2009 |
Zion thanks for the feedback it is always appreciated
the poem ia actually very simple to understand I gues there are a few words you did not recognise so
hab outlined them below.
This is about a Jewish bar owner using drugged wine as part of the fightback against the Nazi's. A partagas
8-9-8 is a type of cigar and creates the atomosphere of a smokey bar in Belguim. Halacha is the way of
making kosher wine and the barman would want the germans to know he was Jewish so uses it to represent
the Vinyard.
I am revisng this so thanks again for the feedback | mlambere [38] | 05/07/2009 |
Like Zion, I wouldn't have understood it unless it was explained to me - that's due to my own ignorance
of the subject matter.After reading it a few times through and in the context of your explanation I can
see it's a well thought out ,inteligent piece of work.Very well done. | Mr Richard [197] | 10/07/2009 |
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