The Writers' Circle

A little spoof sketch about a well known fictional detective..



Watson:  My word Holmes! But how on earth?!

Holmes:  My dear Watson you see - but you do not observe. It's really quite simple when you analyse the facts.

Watson:  Yes! But how the deuce did you  so accurately conclude that A: I was up late last night, B: I employed the services of a lady of the night between the hour of nine of the clock and four and half minutes past; and quite remarkably, C: That I arrived here this morning in a mahogany handsome cab who's driver was indeed Danish and had a wooden leg?

Holmes:  Elementary my dear Watson, but never mind such obvious trifles. I hear the very same handsome approaching. I suspect that some unusual visitor will arrive shortly through that very threshold and no doubt that same individual will present us with a most singular mystery for us to unravel with the use of pure applied logic.


Watson:  Gosh.

Holmes:  Ah,  footsteps. Therefore I observe -by the subtle nuances of tone- that our forthcoming guest is a man..very tall..in his late forties.shod with a pair of brown leather brogues..the lace on the left foot being much tighter than the right.

Watson:  Why that's incredible. Now let us furnish ourselves with the true facts and realise just how exact and accurate your clever deductions are.

(Three loud knocks on the door.)

Holmes:  Enter tall gentleman sir!

Lady:  Tall gentleman? Good morning to you. My name is Betsy McTiddler I've come about the position of housemaid that was advertised. Please don't look so surprised sirs. I may only be three foot six but I'm as hard working as I am honest an god fearin'.

Watson:  Holmes you are utterly wrong!

Homes:  Hmph.. Watson, would you be so kind as to pass me my cocaine there's a good fellow?

Watson:  Good grief.