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This was a little sketch I had originally written in broad Scots entitled " Wee voice in ma heid".Thought I'd "translate" it into English and share it with the circle. MAN: Voice in my head your gonna have to stop. I can't take it anymore. Voice: What? MAN: You know what! Just stop it! VOICE: But we have a laugh. MAN: No. You have a laugh .I just get into trouble. I can't live like this. Now I'm going to the shop to buy a newspaper. Try not to cause bother ,please? just this once. VOICE: Killjoy. MAN: Shush! (Outside,) Man: Tut I'ts raining VOICE: Well I was goin' to suggest you bring an umbrella. MAN: Shush! VOICE: Feels like I'm walkin on eggshells with you these days. BIG ISSUE VENDOR: Big issue!..Big issue.. WEE VOICE: Kick him. BIG ISSUE VENDOR: Big issue..Big..Ow! what did you do that for? MAN: Em Sorry! BIG ISSUE VENDOR: I'm working not begging ARRRRGHHHH(angry as if about to physically attack) VOICE: Run! MAN: (Panting as he runs ) See! There you go again. What did I tell ya!? VOICE: Ha ha,now see those clothes on display outside that shop? Grab 'em! MAN: Doh. Shopkeeper: Hey! MAN: Oh no a policeman. POLICE MAN: Hold it right there sir! VOICE: Slap him. POLICE MAN: I said hold it right there! (SLAP!) OI! RIGHT! VOICE: Run like the the wind! MAN: I hate you voice in my head. Look at the bother you've got me into!You're nothing but trouble.Now I'm gonna get arrested. VOICE: Just shut up and keep running. MAN: I told you to leave me alone! Why don't you go and bother somebody else for a change! VOICE: Shut up! MAN: NO you shut up! Aw no! traffic lights I'll have to wait. VOICE : CROSS! MAN : (Screech! Thud!)_ ARGH! LADY: Oh my god! that man, he's been knocked down I..I'd better call an ambulance. VOICE: Well hello there lady. LADY: Who said that? VOICE: I'm the new voice in your head. Me and you are gonna have a ball. So turn off yer phone there's a good lass. Lets go for a wee walk. LADY: But what about that poor man? VOICE: Oh don't you worry about him he was an idiot anyway. Just put your phone away. ..That's it ..lets go. LADY: Right.
This is so funny it transcends the language it's written in...
I like it. Good honest humour. I have a nagging voice that controls me. I do try to ignore it. Dont know why I married her sometimes :D
I enjoyed this sketch - it made me smile.