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Amnesia

By Gate Keeper | Posted: 28 July 2009

Views: 241
Editor's choice
Editor's choice
'Amnesia' is just a project title at the moment but I appreciate any tittle sugestions and any comments/ advice good or bad that you may have =)
__________________________________________________________________

	"Who are you?" 
	Ulrick's eyes widened in shock. The red haired woman who had haunted him for almost a year now was awake. She had always been asleep, kept in suspended animation in a liquid filled tube with wires attached to her. Her red hair, which was probably long enough to reach the middle of her back, floated whimsically around her. Now she was awake, still in the tube with the wires and water, but with her green eyes staring at Ulrick.
	"Who are you?" she repeated.
	"I'm Ulrick," Ulrick whispered, stepping closer to the glass, "Who are you?"
	The girl cocked her head to the side as she thought. 
	"I.... I think my name is Fable," she said. 
	It was strange; even though she was immersed in liquid, she could  still talk. Little bubbles escaped her mouth when she did. Her eyes and her face were beautiful and mesmerizing. Ulrick pressed his hand against the glass. Fable did the same in the same place. An electric shock passed through Fable's hand, through the glass, and shocked Ulrick. Fable and Ulrick both flinched back. The shock brought Ulrick back from his trance.
	"Where are we?" he asked as he looked around him.
	They were in a lab. Beepings and bleeps resonated against the cold steel walls. Scientists in long white lab coats were all around, working on computers, taking notes, and looking at charts. Ulrick turned back to Fable and gasped. Her eyes were blood red, and she had a blank look on her face as though she was in a trance.
	"Fable?" Ulrick asked nervously
	"Someone's there," she said, ignoring Ulrick.
	"Where?" Ulrick asked, looking around. Aside from the scientists that somehow failed to notice them, no one else was there.
	"Get away from it!" she said loudly.
	Ulrick looked around again, making sure no one had noticed. The scientists remained oblivious.
	"Fable, wha...," Ulrick began.
	"STOP! GET AWAY!!" Fable shrieked. 
	Chaos broke out. Machines and alarms started going out throughout the lab. Scientists scurried about, shouting orders and information at each other.
 	"Brain waves are off the charts!"
	"Vitals are extremely high!"
	"Pump some sedatives into that tank!"
	"Call  the tech lab. Tell them to get away from that robot NOW!"
	Ulrick watched in confusion as these orders were carried out. One scientist injected an IV that was fed into the tube with fluid. Almost immediately after, Fable passed out. Ulricks own eyes began to get dark around the edges, and he felt himself falling.
All articles on this website by Gate Keeper are copyright ©Gate Keeper and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
Grampa Pogi
28 July 2009
Hi Gatekeeper,
I wish I could write this well when I was your age.  Good job.  I'd keep the working title and if after finishing the book you'd still want to change it, that's when you do it.
Gate Keeper
28 July 2009
lol thanks. I'll get chapter 2 up as soon as I'm done looking over it =)
unbridledspirit
31 July 2009
I have critiqued your work as follows -

[First impressions]
I thought this piece was well written.  I was captivated and wanted to know more.  Keep up the good work.
samhope
04 August 2009
I really like this and am keen to read more! I think you've set a good scene with the right amount of information at this stage. Perhaps a bit of tweaking, i.e the second paragraph where possibly too many 'shocks' are mentioned? Well done, excellent stuff.

Writer
Gate Keeper

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