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Last night

By poppy101 | Posted: 12 August 2009

Views: 347
A river ran through my dreams last night
Gurgling and babbling in full flight,
I watched it chase its destiny
Jealous of its freedom and uncertainty.

The wind howled round my shoulder blades
Loudly first then soft to fade,
The trees closed ranks, each trunk puffed out
An army waiting for the shout.

Nettles scolded at every turn
Vibrant flowers scratched and burned,
I searched my life for signs of why
My subconscious was so dreadfully awry.

I wanted to run, escape this hell
But my legs were tangled and I fell
Down, down, down, a rushing sensation
I sat up quickly, a breaths hesitation

Drenched in cold, clammy sweat
Anxious eyes search and fret,
It's just my room, my bed, my home
I sink back down, I'm all alone.
All articles on this website by poppy101 are copyright ©poppy101 and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
bobchoi
13 August 2009
They said poetry is for reading out loud.  I read this one to myself and it sounded really great.  They also said good poetry is a painting, and this is where I feel "Last Night" is a bit of a let down.  The mental picture that I get is not as sharp it could it.  Maybe the gurgling river, the howling wind, the trees, the nettles and the flowers all come to mean something terrible (nightmarish), but I can't put my finger to it.
poppy101
13 August 2009
Oh Bobchoi do we always see with our eyes?  Technically you're probably right - I've talked about abstract ideas which amount to nothing of substance - I've not 'shown' you what I mean, no real descriptions - but it is a dream - do we see dreams vividly or do we feel them? Sometimes you know who a person is in your dream but you might not see their face - is it you're eyes that capture the images or other senses?
I appreciate your comments and the chance it gives me to really think about my own work.
chum600
02 December 2009
A great poem full of personal expression!
taylorswift97
09 January 2010
Great Poem. 
You expressed yourself well.

Writer
poppy101

Total posts:
239
Roles: Writer
Ipswich, UNITED KINGDOM
I'm an avid reader who gets lost in the world of books. My poetry tends to be a stream of consciousness running along the pulse of emotion. I'd like to try new things but as always its finding the time ... (Read more)
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