The Writers' Circle

I wrote this respectfully irreverent piece after learning that Dr. Charles Kao, winner of the 2009 Nobel Prize in Physics is suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

Mr. Wang, a Buddhist-turned-Christian, died in a caring facility for Alzheimer patients.  Approaching the Gate of St. Peters, he saw an old man with long silvery hair and beard donned in a white robe, extending open arms to him.

"Welcome, Mr. Wang, we've been waiting for you," St. Peter said with a deep resonance befitting someone of his stature in heaven.

"Mr. Wang?  So, that's my name!  I couldn't remember!  But who are you and...where am I?" 

"I'm Peter the fisherman who walked with Jesus in the good old days.  Now they called me St. Peter.  I'm in charge of receiving all the deserving souls who are entering heaven."

"So you're the receptionist to heaven!"

"Yes, you can say that.  In fact, you're standing at St. Peter's Gate."

"Ahhh, but what's heaven?  And who's Jesus?"

"Hmmm, Mr. Wang, I can see that you really had a bad case of Alzheimer..."

"Alzheimer?  What's that?"

"Well, never mind, Mr. Wang," St. Peter sighed.  "It's probably best that you don't recall any part of it.  Your family has suffered enough.   You do remember your family, don't you?"

"My family?  No.  All I remember is that I went to bed after dinner last night and when I woke up I was here with you.  I don't remember anything else!"

"Well then Mr. Wang, we might have a little problem," St. Peter said reaching into his pocket for a little notebook. 

"You were basically a good man and had lived an honorable life since your conversion from Buddhism many years ago.  But you had committed a few minor transgressions and you had never bothered to confess or to redeem yourself.   I don't suppose you remember when you were a freshman in college, you stole the hubcaps off a Honda Civic after the hubcaps on your Honda were stolen the week before?" St. Peter paused for an answer.

"No!  Did I do that?"

"Or at the office Christmas party in 1984, you had one drink too many and accidentally pinched the rump of your boss' secretary, Mary?"

"Say what?" 

"That's what I'm afraid of.  You've forgotten all about your infractions.  You cannot confess to something you don't recall, let alone show penance.   But without your confession and penance, Mr. Wang, we cannot let you into heaven!"

"But St. Peter, Sir! You have yet to tell me what heaven is!  Maybe I don't want to go there after all!"

"Well, believe me, Mr. Wang, you'd want to go to heaven because the only other alternative is hell," St. Peter stated emphatically, "and you really don't deserve going to hell because of a technicality."  St. Peter rolled his eyes towards heaven, seeking guidance on his predicament.

St. Peter's final decision on Mr. Wang was highly controversial and has remained as the most-studied case in the Annals of Heavenly Proceedings.  By orders of St. Peter, Mr. Wang was escorted to Nirvana where Buddha has set up his screening and admissions office.  It turned out Mr. Wang was extremely well qualified to enter Nirvana.  The essence of Buddhism lies in enlightenment.  Its pre-requisite is a complete dissociation from oneself, one's feelings and emotions, one's worldly and personal connections.  Mr. Wang who suffered from Alzheimer has achieved the state of "complete nothingness" without even trying.   Thus he was re-converted and took up eternal blissful residence in Nirvana.