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No Face : Resurrected Secrets by???
Words???
Genre?
We live. We die. Inevitable.
Elijah "Bang" Quinn is a member of No Face Organization: a non-existent elite covert operations team dedicated to finding and eliminating criminals that pose a threat to the United States and its (note I've changed some spelling and grammar) allies.
Only Bang can help his sister (name?) close the case against the human trafficker that made her give up everything (give up what? Her identity? Money?) - and he swore that he wouldn't lose her again.
But one woman is making things complicated: Kia "Angel" Bradley makes different attempts to escape from the hands of Bang, but how could she abandon the only chance she had of rescuing her cousin (whose cousin?)? (not clear, because I don't know who the cousin is. Why would she want to escape from Bang. Is he the good or bad guy? By opening up with him I'm assuming he's the main character and the good guy.)
Propelled further into the dangerous game, Kia realizes that Bang has added to her list of many problems. (Has added her to his list of problems?)
To remain alive she'll have to incur the wrath of her captor - even (to?) the constituent element of deadly attraction.
Ivy Fairchild, Head of No Face and hotel heiress, awakes from her slumber to a figment of her imagination. However, it is real and definitely not transparent. Her husband was alive. Lies of the past like effects of vertigo. How will she forgive those that knew . . .and him? (don't want to know that she awakes from slumber. Simply have: Ivy Fairchild, Head of No Face and hotel heiress, discovers one morning that her life has been a lie. Her husband, Trace Yuan, isn't dead as she thought, but instead of rejoicing she is plunged into a nightmare of lies.. Or something)
Trace Yuan, special agent of No face, returns three years on the anniversary of his kidnapping (why?) His past laced with the poisonous Yakuza and family differences. He stayed away from his addiction, Ivy, but could no longer. Will he make understand why? (doesn't make sense as it stands.) Or will she shun him from her life?
From the concrete jungle of New York city to the crowded shores of Trinidad, these unlikely matches must overcome (overcome what? Their differences?)to stay alive; to seek deflection from the chosen course of trust and to love once again.
Hope you don't mind, I've edited it a bit, but even so it still needs a lot of work. I don't know the genre or the word length, and the agent will DEFINITELY want to know that.
Keep it in the present tense, have all the names of your main characters in UPPER CASE, make use of white space (nice paras), point 10 or above, Times New Roman), delete fluffy writing ie He stayed away from his addiction, Ivy, but could no longer.
Good luck.
http://louisewise.blogspot.com/
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