Magical story by TheMind

With all the hate and anger he ever felt in his life, he ignited his magic and prepared to shower his wrath upon his enemies when he noticed the flight of an arrow, made of fire element, coming right at him.
	Instinctively he pumped more power in his Earth shield and raised it to fully block the arrow's path. The arrow took no time in crossing the distance and was mere feet away from his shield.
	Confident of his defense, he shaped his power and began his attack on the advancing enemy. Rows upon rows of fire arrows escaped his open palms and showered upon them. The cowards hid themselves behind their magical defenses.
	His shield never made contact with the attacking arrow. With a loud bang the arrow split in two and narrowly missed the edges of his shield to converge back right in front of him. It reshaped itself and turned into the form of a person advancing with a pike.
	With his power aimed at the wrong enemy, the captain helplessly watched the fiery form of the pike man plunge his weapon in his chest. With a violent jerk the Sankon was yanked from his feet and slammed head first several feet away into a boulder. The impact left him immobilized and his body on the verge of destruction.
	The fiery man pulled back his pike and extinguished it from existence. The flames on his body began to subside and color bloomed as an immortal stood in front of him in flesh and blood. No Elf could ever managed to break through his defenses, none until now.

All articles on this website by TheMind are copyright ©TheMind and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.

Comments

Carl

11 October 2008

I really like it! It is very well written. The only disappointment I had was when I encountered the word 'Elf'. Hopefully I don't sound stupid when I say this. Given you're in Pakistan is there any other kind of mythology you could draw on rather than elves? Magic is universal. Regarding elves though, I would much rather read about something I'm unfamiliar with. I think elves are a bit overdone.

TheMind

12 October 2008

You are right, the Elf is overdone. If fact, the immortal in this story isn't Elf but another race which is similar yet different. It is a story I had conceived very long ago but due to my limited exposure to English literature, novels and character development I could not shape it.

After reading numerous stories like Wheel of Time, Sword of Truth, Furies of Calderon and Magicians Guild I felt more confident in writing.

As for Mythologies here, they are more regarding nature and history like River Indus, the great graves of Makli and the ancient civilization of Moenjo Daro. Other than that the religious mythologies prevalent are Hindu Mythologies. If you want, I can share the true text of what you read above which is a Prologue of my story and the only so far written part of it. I am in the process of writing the first chapter.

Carl

13 October 2008

I am an amateur writer, so my advice is also amateur. However, as soon as you name things like The River Indus, the great graves of Makli and your Moenjo Daro etc.. they immediately sound extremely interesting to me. Similarly your take on nature would interest me too. I guess you are aiming to publish your work one day. You might need to think about where in the world you want to publish your work. Wherever it is, I think you should try to aim for the unfamiliar in your writing because I think this would be your selling point. Yes, please do post the rest of this piece of work!

TheMind

13 October 2008

Thanks for the input. I would have replied sooner but for some reason the site was down last night.
It's true that I plan to publish my work some day because it is a story I have been working on in my mind for a few years now and trying my best to shape it as best as I could. All those mythologies that I mentioned are part of the story though they will play their part at a later stage.

As for the prologue, you can read that here.

http://www.esnips.com/doc/3b8f2f91-931a-426d-962b-34393db0e8dc/Prologue

It does not reveal much, but you will get a general idea of what the world is in this story.