The Writers' Circle

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G'day folks, a gardening disaster story from Australia. I bloke I knew once tried to paint Australia the big wide brown land; the bugger ran out of brown.
Oh yes ,but we do have gardens here. Personally I am not a gardener but I still try. 
Were a laid back mob down here, and it's probably right, that  doing business with us is hard, we tend to start work at eight, and by twelve noon were at the beach.
Never mind one day the rest of the world will get over it!
Moved into a beaut new place two months ago, asked the girlfriend to come, she said no, so I   told her just piss off then, go-Anna.
She did, now I have to get up of the couch to get me own beers.
The place came with a top little garden, you know not to big not to small, a bloody postage stamp.
So I got busy ,vegies,spuds,carrots,and my prize winning tomatoes.
Beaut tomatoes even if I say so myself. Helped on of course by that great aussie tradition of taking a leak over them once a day. They LOVE it something to do with nitrogen, according to bluey me neighbour. Bluey leaks on his lemons. His missus Dorothy  turns up at the doorstep once a week with a lemon pie, very nice, but I know what the old bloke uses for fertilizer. Now I have a fridge full of uneaten lemon pies. Bluey can eat his own damn pies.
Over the last fortnight I got really ambitious. Tried to build myself a chicken coop, and an aviary for finch breeding.
The project was going fine then one Friday I went out back too put the roof on the finch aviary. As yet me choocks had laid sod all.
So there I was, fifteen feet up, on a ladder, and fair dinkum that's high.
I stretched out to  nail  the roof down and the whole damn lot came down taking me with it.
Legs cut, head bleeding, aviary smashed to bits, I stood up, head spinning, the world spun round,I  fell face first into me native garden. Got up again and staggered back falling and took the entire chook run out. Completely smashed to bits.
So I thought shit that,s it! I went straight inside to get a beer. Had to do that myself, as I said Anna went. I woke up next day and could barely walk. 
A week later  I sat quietly watching the telly, saw that funny home video show, and strick me pink, I was on it.
Turned out that my neighbour bluey had been watching over the fence and got the whole disaster on tape. Sent it in to that show and bugger me I won first prize, which just happened to be two gift vouchers to the local nursery.
Haven't picked up me prize yet, but when I do ,straight to the nursery, and buy some lemon tree's.
 The rest of the summer I'll spend "fertilizing" them  and giving lemon pies  to bluey, and I make a  mean  tomato soup.