The Hotel Hoppers: Part Three by audreyhepburn

"Wasn't fair? I wanted us to have a day together- sleep in, go shopping, maybe even take a ferry to one of the little islands around here. But no- you ruined our vacation by sneaking out! I was enjoying the Purple Palace too, you know."

This was a side of Suzie that I had never seen before. She is usually spontaneous, but she was being uncharacteristically serious right now.

"Well, Suzie, we have spent a ton of time together, since I was two! There was no one else to take care of me. I haven't even gone to school before!"

Suzie and I sat there, shocked. In all 10 years we had lived together, we had never had a fight. Not like this.

We checked in to the hotel. That night, when we were eating dinner at a fast-food place down the road, we realized that our fighting was silly.

"You know what, Suzie? I think that we were both to blame for this. I am willing to admit that I shouldn't have gone to the circus. But I think that you are partly to blame for this, too."

"I suppose that I should have let you go to the circus with Tanya. That was my fault. And... I think leaving the Purple Palace that fast was a very harsh punishment. Too harsh."

"I'm sorry, Suzie."

"I'm sorry, too, Jane."

"What are we going to do now? Are we going to stay here?"

"You know what? Let's drive back to the Purple Palace first thing tomorrow morning. I think we have suffered enough with our fighting."

"Okay, Suzie. Thank you."

We drove back to the motel that night, and were chatting away about Suzie's books, just like it was a normal night.

In the morning, we woke up at 6 AM to pack.

"We can make it to the Purple Palace if we hurry! Keep going Jane!"

"Okay, Suzie. I'm almost ready."

To be continued...

*ailurophobia means a fear of cats

All articles on this website by audreyhepburn are copyright ©audreyhepburn and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.

Comments

taylorswift97

25 January 2010

Yay! You wrote it! :) 
It's awesome, I can't wait for part 4!
I wrote parts 10 and 11 of the Magical Shoes! 
Part 10 will be posted tonight..if not, tomorrow!

taylorswift97

26 January 2010

I have critiqued your work as follows -

[First impressions]
I found your work interesting and believable
I found your work to have an easy, rolling rhythm that moved the story forward
[Plot]
I thought your plot was good, exciting and distinguishable and had a central theme
I thought your plot moved forward in a structured way
[Characters]
I felt your characters were real people with real lives, faults and merits
[Dialogue]
Your dialogue was natural
[Overall comments]
This is a really good story! I am excited to read what happens next.

audreyhepburn

26 January 2010

Thanks!  I will post part four soon!
Audrey

taylorswift97

27 January 2010

GOOD! 
I am not sure how much longer I can wait!

debbie reynolds

29 January 2010

Brill loved the rift scene between good friends then the putting their difference aside. Good work can't wait for more.

TheDarkNarrator340

29 January 2010

I have critiqued your work as follows -

[First impressions]
I found your work interesting and believable
I found your work to have an easy, rolling rhythm that moved the story forward
The story does sound sound no doubt interesting. It was sounding like a real good story to read up on. I think you did a pretty good job in creating this. 
This is well written.
[Beginning]
I found the beginning compelling
[Plot]
I thought your plot was good, exciting and distinguishable and had a central theme
I thought your plot moved forward in a structured way
Unfortunately I thought your plot was too convoluted or too complicated to fully understand
Does have quite the cliffhanger. Can't wait to see what's gonna happen next of course.

audreyhepburn

30 January 2010

Thanks everyone!
Audrey

Also see: Rough guide to Janvia (churchmouse) • Irrational Ramblings of an Arachnophobic (MisterI) • A memory of a vacation in the countryside (Evita Sagalongos) • Securicat (churchmouse) • The Beginning, Rewrite-Does this catch attention better? (unedited sorry) (NoelLynn) • SPACE (Grampa Pogi) • A gardening tale, from OZ. (cobham) • The Sound of Silence (Grampa Pogi) • Jason and the Magic stone (Richard) • Jonathan's Socks Chapter 1 (Teresa)

Kudos

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Writer audreyhepburn	Total posts: 449
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I am a 13-year-old and I write for everyone, kids and adults alike; my dream is to win a world-wide literary award. Please comment on my writing; I like to know what people think. I really appreciate constructive ... (Read more)

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Genre / category: Fiction