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Sidewalks...Puke!

By bobchoi | Posted: 25 January 2010

Views: 620
A rather unpleasant nonet:

We're closing now, the bartender said
It's time for you to go home Jack!
The man pushed off the barstool,
staggering past the door,
his stomach in knots,
ridding contents... 
onto the
sidewalks
Puke!
All articles on this website by bobchoi are copyright ©bobchoi and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
taylorswift97
25 January 2010
Oh my......
A rather interesting, and quite unpleasent poem....
audreyhepburn
26 January 2010
May be unpleasant, but funny. 
Audrey
iram 24
27 January 2010
I can't get this image out of my head now !
well funny though.
JD Higginson
27 January 2010
Delightful...

Direct and to the point.

Good job.

JD
Grampa Pogi
27 January 2010
BobChoi,

I learned two new things about your poem. (And if we learn at least one thing a day, imagine, we could learn 365 things in a year. :-)

First, I had to research a poetic 'nonet'.  As a musician, I'd heard of nonets as a musical group of nines or as I've found out just today it is also used as a computer term.  As a retired system engineer, I've never heard of a nonet used in IT as a group of nine bits but apparently, it is so.

Well, the other thing I learned was this form of poetry.  Not only your poem offered a 'staggering' story :-), it followed a particular poetic form. In the past, when I tried to 'understand' poetry, I researched it under 'poetry' and it listed the different forms, Sonnets, Jintishi, Sestina, Villanelle, Pantoum, Rondeau, Tanka, Haiku, Ruba'i, Sijo, Ode, Ghazal, Acrostic, Canzone, Cinquain and other forms like Carmina figurata, Concrete poetry, Fixed verse, Folk song, Free verse, Limerick, Minnesang, Murabba, Pastourelle, Poetry slam . . . and there were two others but they're suspect (being a wiki entry, the entries 'Stev' and 'Yoik' as forms of poetry could be the name of the contributor, Steve York . . . but who knows . . . sorry, I digress).

I got this list from the Wiki guy and if you 'wiki' 'poetry', you'd find no reference to a 'form' in poetry called a 'nonet'.  However, if you 'wiki' 'nonet', well, it's there . . . a one-liner . . . a lonely definition that didn't even rate an inclusion with "other forms" of poetry.  But it's there.

And with my limited knowhow of poems and poetry in general, I can appreciate the effort you put into this one.  It's brilliant.

First line is nine syllables then decreases by one until it reaches the conclusion. Puke!

When I couldn't find 'nonet' first, I thought it would fall under the category of "Concrete poetry" as it adhered to the topic about sidewalks (lol) but now I learned one more thing about poetry. 

Your third line appeared having only six syllables if you'd say 'pushed' in one flow, however, since this is poetry in motion, I guess you could pronounce it as 'push-ed' (because he staggered being drunk :-) to make it seven. But who cares, it's still brilliant :-)

BTW . . . the ninth line is also 'Tagalog' in case you want to learn a new international word today.  You can research it to make it more fun but, fair warning, don't ask a female if you're within striking distance (unless you wanna get hi-5ed in the face  :-) 

Cheers,
Grampa
Evita Sagalongos
28 January 2010
I like this, so unique
coolhand
14 February 2010
ha - been there. Very good and deceptively simple.

Writer
bobchoi

Total posts:
491
Roles: Writer
Hong Kong, CHINA
I wanted to share my life experience through storytelling, to write with feelings that are palpable and appreciated by the readers, and to have fun doing it.
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