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If you can see it in your mind you can hold it in your hand I'd paint a painting of the poem System Void before writing the poem . . . I like the creativity and the concept of the poem You've got some great ideas but I've got to solve a crossword puzzle just to get to the point of the poem I don't mind the heavy metal words "androgynous eidolon" . . . "diuretic eustasy" but I'd appreciate analogies or allusions to perceive them I like the analogies you used like "cloisters of a new monastery" and how you expressed the actions I even like the analogy "annelids with searching mouths" But I can't see an annelid . . . I can see a worm Why is it so important to specify the worms as annelids? Why be abstract when you can be concrete? A worm by any other name is still a worm The senses are satellites of the mind The senses in action is Perception Science can be a sensory experience If you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand . . .
I gotta hand it to you, M n m n I, Your colorful language shows even as you wax poetic on a comment. It's great to see feedback done in the same context as the critiqued article. It's great!
Thanks Grampa Pogi and to the anonymous voters