The Writers' Circle

Jim Smith read the letter that had arrived at his house that morning and liked what he saw.
The letter was from a firm of solicitors, advising him that he was the beneficiary of a will. This was something that had never happened to him before.
Apparently, his Great Aunt Mabel had died, and left him something that the letter described as "A piece of art" The letter requested that he contact the solicitors to arrange a day for him to receive the said piece.

He could only vaguely remember his great aunt. She had lived 300 miles away, and he must have been no more than six years old when he and his parents had last seen her. His only recollection of her was that she lived in a large rambling old house with her large rambling old husband, and that she had a penchant for wearing brightly coloured hats.

He dialled the number of the solicitors, and was put through to Mr. Spendit. The junior partner of Grabit, Pinchit and Spendit Solicitors Ltd. Mr. Spendit offered his condolences for the loss of Jim's great aunt, and informed him that following her husbands death, his great aunt had found comfort in the keeping of cats. So much so that when she died, she had left all off her money to the local cats home. However, she had not forgotten her great nephew Jim, and had left him a piece of artwork in her will. Mr. Spendit didn't know what the artwork was exactly, only that it was in storage and could be delivered to Jim's house as soon as Jim specified at date. Jim asked for it to be sent to him the following Thursday, and Mr. Spendit said that he would make the arrangements.

The following Thursday, Jim took the day off work and waited for his heirloom to arrive.
At about half past ten a large truck towing a large trailer pulled up outside of Jim's front gate. On the large trailer was a large lumpy shaped thing covered by a large tarpaulin. The driver of the truck knocked on the door, and asked Jim to sign for whatever it was that was under the tarpaulin. Once he had Jim's signature, the driver pulled the tarpaulin from the object on the trailer to reveal what appeared to be a 25ft high stuffed cat that had been on the losing side of a fight with an equally large wolf. The driver craned the cat from the trailer onto Jim's front garden, loaded the tarpaulin into the back of the truck, and with a cheery wave drove off down the street.

Jim was somewhat perturbed by the thing that had been dumped in his front garden. He had been expecting an oil painting, or perhaps a nice piece of silverware rather than a 25ft high study of the taxidermist's art.
He slowly walked around it looking at the thing from all angles. He wasn't completely sure what sort of animal it was supposed to be. It resembled a giant cat more than anything else, but it equally could have been a giant short legged donkey or a giant long legged badger. It had large vicious looking teeth and claws, most of which were missing. It had only one eye, and had lost half of its tail. The body of the thing was covered in fur that had originally been ginger grey. Where pieces had fallen off, they had been patched up with whatever had come to hand. Dotted here and there were patches of black, blue, and even a piece that looked like it had once been part of a doormat.

Jim's wife Mary had watched the unloading of the hairy beast with undisguised horror. She was not very happy with having the horrible mangy looking thing put in her garden, and when Jim returned from his inspection, she collared him about it.
"We can't have that thing in the front garden" She said "You've got to get rid of it"
Jim was inclined to agree. He promised to do something about it at the week-end.
That night he went to bed secretly hoping that some-one might steal it, but the next morning it was still there in all its malevolent moth eaten glory.

When he was at work, he phoned the municipal tip, to see if they would come and take it away for him. Unhappily, the workman at the tip informed him that there was nothing in his book of regulations to say that they could accept 25ft high stuffed animals. Particularly ones that could not be readily identified as to what species they belonged to. Jim would have to dispose of it himself.
When he returned home that evening, Mary informed him that Mr. Jenkins from next door had been over complaining that the thing in their garden was blocking the light. She also said that the manager of the nursery school opposite had phoned to complain, as it was scaring the children. Not only that, but people had been pointing at her when she was in the supermarket. She wanted rid of the thing, and she wanted rid of it now!

Jim could tell that his wife was a bit miffed, and so that night he took a saw from his toolbox and began cutting up the giant stuffed cat like creature that had despoiled his front garden. He filled the back of his car with as much of it as it would hold and went around the town unloading the pieces into every dustbin and litter bin he could find. When he had filled up every litter bin in town, he was forced to take the rest to the next town, where he filled up all of thier litter bins as well. By eight o/clock he had finished. He walked wearily to his bed and slept for the rest of the morning.

A week later, another letter arrived for Jim. It was from Grabit, Pinchit and Spendit. The letter said that Messrs Grabit, Pinchit and Spendit were awfully sorry, but there had been a mistake. Great Aunt Mabel had actually left the bulk of her estate to Jim, and the monster stuffed cat to the local cats home. Would he be so good as to return the giant cat effigy to them so that they could release Great Aunt Mabel's money.