The Writers' Circle

How I came to Wolverhampton

My initial experience of Wolverhampton, was not an excellent one. I first came to this town because I was prompted to get some form of education. The university seemed to be a sound institution for what I needed. I just needed a degree of some kind so I didn't have to work in Sainsbury's forever, and also I wanted to escape from East Anglia where I felt stifled by other young people who were more upper class than me. 

At the time I had compared myself to them despite knowing that I didn't have the same family support or access to education, I guess that even if my skills were as good and my intellect as inquisitive I would not have known anyway, because confidence never really existed, actually I don't think that I knew how to believe in myself, so therefore anything anyone ever said was rubbish. I cannot stress enough that the inability in others better off to empathize with my situation.

 Perhaps if they had understood it would have been explained to be due to a lack of ambition because of poor nurturing. Having grown up on a council estate surrounded by people oppressed by the state, with priorities other than art and culture then it is no wonder that somehow I had been discouraged from such ridiculous ambitions from an early age. I was not discouraged from education intentionally, but whilst growing up survival just became more important. I was bullied by the local children, and adults merely because I had prospects of an education and coming to terms with my sexuality affected me greatly. Throughout my education I had even struggled to be able to afford getting the bus to school. My home life was not good either. There were a lot of unresolved issues, but then it's difficult to be a single parent.

I worked every weekend in order to go out, and pay for my own food until I left home at eighteen after A-Levels. I was always looking for a form of escape. Mostly weed and alcohol, but to an excess for that age. Education sooner took a back seat and the attempt to get through adolescence exerted the pressure on me. I sensed something sinister about people around me at one point. I suppose it could have been worse, but having relied on the comfort of the benefit system in my family while growing up, it was really difficult to break the chain of events, and in feeling so incredibly frustrated with parental responses to life questions I felt liable to take situations in to my own hands. 

There were three years of rough times, spent alone and penniless with little or no support from local authorities; because firstly I was working and in education, and secondly I was not in any danger or pregnant. I was however thrown out of my home for being a lesbian and went to live as a carer for the Norfolk County Council services. I did this for three years just to cover the cost of expenses. 

I was not ready for this and should anyone be reading this and knows how depressing it is to be in this lonesome situation, then you may understand my anger and frustration. This is why I ended up in Wolverhampton. After applying aimlessly to just do any course I could fathom, it seems ironic that I have ended up here, at first not having a clue at what I was about to let myself in for. What a great decision it was too.










Raphael Selbourne's Beauty1. A lesson for Wolvo


Ok so you think of Wolverhampton and supposing that you are cynical, you should probably shake your head in hopeless despair, cussing it as a 'shit hole.' And if that is how you feel then you are of course told to 'keep your bloody opinions to yourself.' Sometimes I wonder if it is dismissive to adopt this attitude to Wolverhampton's problems and perhaps this is why it has gotten it in such a terrible mess in the first place. It somehow never really seems to move forward. It appears to be stuck in a time warp. 

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/reviews/beauty-by-raphael-selbourne-1784393.html

There seems to be a lack of eduction here , especially among specific pockets of the community,  these communities are clearly undervalued in someway or another. It is becomes clear when you step in to the town centre filled with derelict houses and shops. Its a ghost town. People start up business, sell out and move on. That's just how it is. Nobody here questions it, and then nothing changes. Surely money and manufactured goods are therefore over valued in such a society. Well then make room for art, culture and education!! (I Cannot emphasize Wolverhampton's creative potential enough.)

In the Raphael Selbourne's book, Beauty The former town, then granted millennium city status is described with such honesty, Selbourne rightfully describes the problems of integration here. The flaws of the city are evident in real life, actually they end up becoming despairingly obvious to me straight away, often I have been criticized by educated residents of the area who feel offended by my comments about Wolverhampton's apparent ugliness as a city. It was destroyed during the war and, well sorry, but quite frankly I'm only just adjusting to a town with nothing left. The houses outside the suburbs are just beautiful however. Tettenhall is wonderful however, a world apart and a twenty minute walk away in to the borough of South Staffordshire, but sharing the same post code and council. 'Houses fit for heroes apparently! Why so stuck up people of Tettenhall?

The book describes the recently closed Flanagan's bar typically. It used to be where all the wasters went. You know the types that live off the state and spend their pay packet on booze during the day? The book highlights this really low class type of individual in Mark whom as a reality character would probably have no choice, but to live like this here because nobody else really wants to get to know his type, other than those who share the same activities i.e Flanagan's pub, porn, dogs, weed.. also there's Beauty and she is from a Bangladeshi family she has been forced in to marriage and treated badly by her community. She is British, but does not even speak coherent English and finds British culture abhorrent.  

'The Black guy smiled as he sat down on the other side of her. At least he was dressed nice. Clean. Not like the other white people.'
Tramps man (p27)

Apparently it happens all the time here, I've seen it on documentaries too. Female circumcision, child sacrifice, forced marriage- and somehow they fall in to one category (separate from British culture) What this situational divide in the book reflects on is the diverse cultures in Wolverhampton,  which is often seen to be unable to integrate because, like in Beauty's case. The family ethics lamented there are just so incredibly powerful that it becomes struggle to break from tradition, and also to steer away from a very traditional form of Britishness. It then gives other cultural views a disservice dropping them  to the wayside. 

The book likens to the views of the 'white middle classes' that don't use that chippy because it's owned by dirty foreigners and vice versa, and instead choose to shop at Waitrose as opposed to colourfully, queer market place. I see the character Mark's case as similarly inverted. He is unable to break his own tradition and same perspectives, because he has no understanding of himself or the world outside his birthplace. The most adjusted main character appears to be Peter, but then even he doesn't actually belong, despite his education, because he lives next door to Mark, and if anyone reading this has ever lived in or experienced Wolverhampton, then they may be aware of the locality's landlord who own many of the properties around, most of which are bought from the council. I was told that the council is so in debt here that it will not even give funding to a local LGBT group. 

A particular street mentioned here is 'Prole Street'p82  Peter explains that it was an abbreviation of proletariat to Mark is so uneducated, that he does not even begin to realize his own identity, nor his derogatory thoughts despite using profanities such as 'paki' (p43).
In chapter four whilst Mark is in the job centre Selbourne creates a scenario in the job centre where Mark is asked to spell the name of his street aloud. He repeats P-R-O-L-E ST. Unconsciously missing the concept of this abbreviation of 'prolateriat' described further on. I found this distinction hilarious.

Mark's language is an indication of how he demeans most people, in his view they are unimportant, it is also apparent in his sex life, perhaps because he uses such vulgarities in his speech, because it distances us away from his person. Selbourne emphasizes this with sexually explicit imagery. I am painting the life of somebody who is very mimetic, and rather two dimensional from Mark's character.

It is very difficult to overcome legislation here, this only helps me in trying to emphasize how important it is for people to overcome their prejudices and face their fears, because lets face it- we are all liable to think in a certain way that continues to prolong the development of ignorance and intolerant attitudes. It is visibly and ultimately affecting the economy here.

I deem the characters in Raphael Selbourne's book, as integral to the author's purpose who maintains comedy as an important aspect to the book, because although regeneration of Wolverhampton is happening in real life. It is probably about time some of the locals and non- locals should notice that there is rather a little boost of all of our efforts needed in order to boost the reputation of the town, to think and act like individuals with imagination and to restore this place with some actual beauty, to move "out of the darkness and in to the light"- the city's guilty motto. Please somebody get rid of it. If Wolverhampton were personified. It should learn to laugh at itself.

Its almost that the residents have been conditioned to believe its a nice little town, as not to upset anyone so secluded from it all. Its as if I'd upset an old lady by accident or something, but I shall tell you this now, and I shall tell you it again. Old Ladies write the best poetry, they may not necessarily be good mothers, but they certainly prove to be rather blunt, edgy poets. I recently discovered this when I attended a poetry group in town held by Simon Fletcher the locality's literacy officer in Wolverhampton. He seemed to focus on my my pink hair and paint covered jeans at first, but he is actually really very nice.

Perhaps Fletcher was startled to see me there and had weighed up the situation and wondered why such a young person would take an interest in something as 'fuddy duddy' as poetry. In Wolverhampton of all places! Perhaps it was me who thought that he thought this, Perhaps this is just my assumption.


Raphael Selbourne Beauty Tidal St Press UK(2009)







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