The Writers' Circle

Hi,
This poem speaks volumes. Highly ambitious in scope, you seem to touch on nearly all the great many ways in which love affects and intoxicates, how it causes both great hurt and joy, not merely meted out to different people in different measures but proving no less discriminatory when acting within the confines of a single heart.

A good poem - I shall keep a look out for more of your stuff!

the highs and lows of love written in a very honest way

You're 100% right, Grampa.  Love is beautiful, and yet, love hurts.  Thanks.

Thanks again , audreyhepburn.

Thanks, m n m n I.  Love is awesome and yet, crazy.  It's like always on cloud nine.

Possum, I think you are a very romantic person thru and thru.  I could feel everything that you wrote on this poem.  Love can be very challenging in so many ways.  Who knows your dream might be a reality.  Keep on loving.  From libran88

Possum,

            This is my absolute favourite. Looking forward to reading more of your work. (:

It is LOVE, or should I say ONE TRUE LOVE.  Thanks Anonymous.

Hi Possum, love sometimes hurt but it doesn't hurt all the time.  If hurts almost all the time then it is no longer love, and you must think if you need to feel hurt all the time.  Remember, we always have choices.

Love is sweet and beautiful and yet love hurts sometimes.  You know when it hurts most, Evita?  When you know that the feeling is right and yet you're far apart.  Ahhhh, that's agony.

Haha, yeah agony, but we can always do something about it, so we can stop the pain, the important is you don't give up.

I really like the way you wrote this, and you chose some good words.

This is a very moving piece and you did a very good job on it.

Beaner

I think this is great for a greating card verse but its not really a decent poem.  there is far to much telling.  I used to write in a similar style when I was in my teens but through reasing alot of good poetry I steer myself away from this style.   

You are telling everyone about this thing called love and pain  but not showing it through painting a picture of love with vivid descriptions of the emotions people feel. 

An example you could say the man was devasted, thats an example of telling it dosent paint any picture for me to imagine hence little emotion to feel and thats what poetry should be about.  

Or alternately you could change the line to say 

I saw the funeral in his face, to describe the same thing, this is showing,  you are then painting the picture of his anguish . 

I think  you need to do alot more showing to go to the next level. 

Please do not think that you are without talent but read a bit of Slyvia Plath and you will see what I mean.

The true essence of poetry to me is peeling the  aspects of reality that normally escapes us, but not the poet

I reread your poem again, possum
I see realities that escaped me
I'm feeling it!

m n m n I