Head Hopping in POV

Head Hopping Examples
As we discussed yesterday, head-hopping happens when there are shifts in viewpoint which occur without the author signaling the change or anchoring the viewpoint in the receiving character's point of view. Often head hopping occurs in the middle of paragraphs. See the examples below:

John stared at Leslie, his eyes flashing fire as flames of righteous anger licked through him. How could she have betrayed him?

(Can you find the head hop in the example above?)

It's the portion where his eyes flashed fire. Flashing is visual. If I am John and I am inside John's body then I can't see my own eyes flashing fire...and if I were angry, as John is, I wouldn't be thinking about my own eyes. I might however feel the flames of righteous anger lick through me. Therefore his eyes flashing fire is a head hop. Flames of righteous anger is not a head hop.

Here's another example:

Rebecca forced herself to loosen her death grip on the steering wheel. The death grip on the steering wheel was John's fault, as was the policeman who stood outside the car's window tapping on the glass. If it hadn't been for his parting shot she wouldn't have been so angry and she wouldn't have felt the need to ease her fury by pressing the accelerator nearly to the floor. She pushed the button and attempted her brightest smile for the cop who stood just outside her window peering down at her as he replayed the near crash that had resulted from her speeding through a red light at the corner of Elm and Ash.

(Did you find the head hop in this example?)

The viewpoint shifts in a head hop when the cop replays the near crash. The early portion of the paragraph is in Rebecca's viewpoint. Then suddenly it switches to the cop when he replays. If I am Rebecca and I am inside her body I can't know what he is replaying in his mind.

How about an example of a head hop in dialogue?

"You are without doubt the most despicable man I've ever met." Jane dipped her head and studied her fingernails. She didn't know what else to say, what else she could say. She'd already said it all, and none of it made any difference. He was leaving her and there was nothing she could say or do about it.

"I never meant for it to be like this Janey. It's just..." His mind wandered as he thought back to the early days of their relationship. She had seemed so perfect then.

"You never mean to do any of the idiotic things you do. That's just the problem." She sighed, finding it hard to believe she'd ever thought their relationship was perfect.

(Can you find the hops? There are two of them.)

The first one occurs when his mind wandered.
The second occurs when she finds it hard to believe.

The best way to make sure that you don't head hop is to envision yourself INSIDE your viewpoint character, experiencing each scene as it unfolds. Many authors replay their scenes mentally as if they are watching a movie being played out in their mind's eye. The problem is this puts you OUTSIDE the character watching the scene unfold. Instead you need to be INSIDE as the scene unfolds. Replay the scene, but be a participant in the scene. Make sure as you replay the scene that you only experience those things which you can experience if you are inside the viewpoint character.

Is head hopping a bit more clear to everyone now?

We will move on to signaling, anchoring, and passing the baton.
 Signaling, Anchoring, and Passing the Baton
We've already talked about head hopping being unsignaled point of view changes that occur in an unplanned fashion taking the reader on a ride that bumps and jars and keeps them from really sinking into your story.

So, how do you change point of view in a way that doesn't bump, jar, or jostle your reader out of the story?

There are three parts to a smooth point of view transition.
The first part is to signal the reader that you are going to change point of view. The second part is to anchor the viewpoint in the receiving character. The third part is to actually pass the baton. The parts do not always occur in the same order, and sometimes parts overlap each other, but the smoothest transitions include all three parts.

To signal the reader that you are going to change viewpoint have the character who has the viewpoint look toward the character who is going to receive the viewpoint or have the character who has the viewpoint notice the receiving character do a physical action. The next part is to anchor the viewpoint in the receiving character. You do this by naming the character who is receiving the viewpoint and then having that character feel something only he or she could feel. Once you have done this the baton is successfully passed and you are in the new point of view.

Let's look at some samples from some BVS books and take apart the viewpoint switches.lthough Kayla [The anchor...you've named the character] was grateful [the feeling that the character receiving viewpoint feels...completing the baton pass smoothly.] he was being so kind, his green eyes had enlarged slightly, clearly showing his sexual interest. And he hadn't once looked at anything but her since she'd started unbuttoning her coat. That made her even more awkward, her fingers fumbling badly with the buttons.

From Chapter 2 of Contract Bride

Hiding his satisfaction at her receptiveness as he hung up
her coat in the large cedar lined closet, he watched over his
shoulder as her nipples beaded tightly. [The character who has the viewpoint looks toward or notices something about the receiving character] She was ready for him now. Just as ready as he was for her. Soon, very soon, he'd make her an offer. Mentally, he relaxed a little. He'd made his choice. Next on the agenda was getting her to accept it.

Turning to face him, [anchor with a physical action] Kayla [The Anchor, you've named the character] was more aware [the feeling or perception that only could come from the new viewpoint character...completing the handoff of the baton and the change of viewpoint.] of her body
than she'd ever been in her life. He was close enough to her she could feel his body heat which intensified his fragrant after shave.

From His Perfect Submissive --

"It sounds like you'd be getting the bad end of the stick
on this whole arrangement," she said. He watched as she
shifted in her seat and raised her gaze, pinning him, her
expression watchful as she continued. [He turns toward her or notices something about her. Sometimes in dialogue the change of viewpoint signals are elongated.] "You're suggesting all this because my brother stole money from you, but you're not going to recover any of the money and in fact you're going to spend even more money taking care of me and my mother. From a financial standpoint it doesn't make any sense Mr. Westin."

"Slade," he corrected. "It makes perfect sense Kara. I have
simple needs. I've already told you, I want an old fashioned
marriage and an obedient and submissive wife. I want an
enthusiastic partner in my bed and someone to explore
sexually with me. Truthfully, I'm tired of being alone, and
I'm willing to turn loose of some money to get the kind of
wife and marriage I want. There isn't anything shady or behind the scenes going on. I've told you what I want and
relinquishing some money to get it makes perfect sense."

Kara [The character anchor--you've named her as the party receiving the point of view] stared at him, unseeing, her blood cold, [an emotion or physical sensation or thought only the receiving character could feel...which completes the baton pass and the switch of point of view] her sandwich forgotten in front of her. She opened her mouth to speak several times but closed it again without having uttered a single sound.

From His Perfect Submissive

She took a bite and chewed methodically, not even tasting
the turkey on rye. Swallowing helped push the hard ball of
tears down and made her feel a little more in control of her
ragged emotions. [This one breaks the rule a little...as she doesn't look at Slade or notice anything about him. That she doesn't makes the viewpoint shift just slightly less smooth than if that part had been there.]

Guilt kicked at Slade's [The character anchor...you've named him as the receiving character] chest [The physical or emotional sensation that only the new viewpoint character could feel--which completes the baton pass and the viewpoint switch] as he watched the tangle of
emotions that chased across her pale face. She seemed lost in some deep, sad place and he ached to take back every word that had caused her pain.

__________________