Kudos 9.00 after 10 votes |
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Cycling in heavy rain as I love to do,
Dipping down past the coal washery's flue,
When faint from out the old canals weeds
Came softest squeaking among tall-grown reeds.
Alighting, I drew more warily near
Wondering at what creature I could hear
When stole out this otter on whose last cry
Up came her young breaking water close by.
Pacing half-breathed along watery shrubs
Following downstream proud mother and cubs,
When suddenly, spooling ripples in tow
Were gone from view, sinking to depths below.
Kudos 9.00 after 10 votes |
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Comments, critiques and replies
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Keiron, this conjures up a wonderful scene of wild life by the water's edge... peaceful and serene.
Its highly descriptive and stylish and it rhymes beautifully and effortlessly. In my opinion, a masterpiece! | bobchoi [504] | 09/02/2010 |
You took me into each scenery, Keiron
Quite a contrast cycling in heavy rain in NYC
especially the creatures
Love this poem and your use of words | m n m n I [304] | 09/02/2010 |
This is good, Kieron. | Prince [3] | 10/02/2010 |
I like this poem - the style, the rhymes - just beautiful. Congrats! | Possum [134] | 13/02/2010 |
Thank you Prince | Keiron [38] | 13/02/2010 |
Thank you Possum | Keiron [38] | 13/02/2010 |
Thank you m n m n I + bobchoi,
High praise indeed!
I confess that it was actually my dad who saw these otters; what I hoped to do in writing this poem was
to capture and convey some of his excitement and vivid decription when telling us of this unique early
morning encounter.
I hoped to enter this poem into a local BBC television's wildlife competiition but forgot about it and
missed the deadline.
It must have been a fantastic sight to see though - as the last otter (let alone a mother and two cubs)
seen around these parts was about 10 years ago.
It was weird discovering otter's make a squeaking sound!
Cheers! | Keiron [38] | 22/02/2010 |
Good work!
^_^ | Shakespril [127] | 16/03/2010 |
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