The Writers' Circle

'When we were small, we used to play around, we used to giggle at anything serious, we used to love our grandparents a lot, we had a best friend, we hated to do math, we loved cartoons, we had balloons in our birthdays, we were happy and stress free, we learnt habits of our parents, and we were decent! We were great, weren't we? Yes, we were.'
	  Sisirjhali thought these kinds of things only. She missed her childhood a lot. Everyone does! 'Really, being back the innocent child is fun because then we hadn't had to go through the harsh life of prosaic struggles. Sad but smiling at ones own unfunny jokes is boring, but giggling at the serious facts that doesn't bother us is nice! Why? I just don't know, but I want my childhood days back. But I am afraid that my past will dissolve in the fusion of generation X! I am afraid, afraid of the "Gen-X". I don't want to grow up so fast; it's boring, very boring, awfully boring!' 
	Sisirjhali is a 16 year old eleventh grader, happy to be a teenager and sad not to be a jolly, small child! A happy-unhappy confused fellow, indeed. However, sitting in front of her desk, she drew stray lines forming funny caricatures. A state of swollen silence occupied the room that made it denser than air. Her parents were at the small 10x10 feet hall, her brother remained out to play with his friends and she sat at her chair in the cramped room with a bed occupying a lot of space. The white washed walls had blasting yellow-brown dusty patches as the room wasn't painted for around five years. It looked pathetically sad to see the thick dark rain clouds cover up the setting sun horribly. The rust rimmed black thunder clouds hung like a frightening roof as it was going to fall on the ground below. Thunder hurtled and Mrs. Tudu grew worried,"where can tapan be? Oh, this boy is always making my hair go grey! Where could he be?" "Why do you send him out, if you can't stop worrying about him?" grumbled Mr. Tudu. The rain began to fall and made waterfall sound. It poured liked a soup from a bowl!
	The doorbell rang loudly, just because there was a lot of silence in the house. Mrs. Tudu sprang up from her chair and rushed to open the door. She unlatched it quickly and finally breathed to see her irresponsible 14 year old son who came almost one hour late after promising to be till seven. Tapan entered the house in wet clothes and removed his shoes, his mother ordered him to change up as to avoid cold. On his way to the bathroom, father halted him, "what were you doing till now? Why were you late?" "Uh, I was at my friend's." tapan jabbered. "Doesn't your friend have a name? Don't you know a decent time to be at home? What's the time now, huh?" father burst in anger. "Let him change first then ask your questions." Mother rescued tapan from a big punishment and tapped him to go. "You are only spoiling him. After that don't disturb self for his recklessness and late coming!!!" father burst even louder. And the serene density of the atmosphere suppressed under the noisy chaos of counseling! Suddenly, Sisirjhali also became aware of the traffic outside and the blaring TV sets at the neighbors' adjacent apartments.
	The cacophony deafened her and her planned leisure drawings distorted fantastically! The happy expressions on her character's drawings looked weird and freaking. So, she resigned her favorite pass time. It was strange that her friends called her an artist because according to her she was still an aspiring fan of animes. She was the only anime fan in her class because her friends thought that animes were cartoons meant for small children! She felt funny about thinking the ridiculous notion of her friends. She wanted to meet a "manga" artist, uh, comic artist! Her friends never knew the internationally known popular Japanese words that kept lily, a sobriquet given to Sisirjhali, apart from her non-Japanese-fan friends. She was a Japan fan, funny to be a Japan fan in the midst of friends who are America fans or England fans or Australia fans or any other English-speaking-nation fans! Lily never had a best friend after coming to her new school at sixth grade when she was twelve years old. She didn't like the new place where she came because they lived in a rented crowded tiny apartment and school friends weren't like her. 
	Lily tried to be just like them, but she never succeeded in it. Sad for her to think, to be alone, and to live sadly. She felt sad to live like herself. She wanted something different in her life. She wanted a break from the boredom around her. She wanted to do something that can catch everyone's attention towards hers. She hadn't had a good friend too that was even sadder than the thought of her being sad. She felt sad to see the invisible threads of rain falling from the sad colored clouds. Sadness occupied the whole room now. She heard the TV sound sadly in her solitude. She realized the pang of jealousy sting her skins. She got jealous from her own brother whenever her mother favored him. She was sad even to exist as a sister to a brother who was favored more. Somewhere deep inside her heart she even felt sad for being a girl. She felt unlucky because of the sadness she realized.
	Her childhood memories flashed inside her head. She missed her happy-lucky times a lot.  She reminisced her old days when tapan and she were treated equally. She even remembered her friends, random friends. She remembered her dolls and thought over their condition now. She missed her old house that was not as small as her present one. She even missed the little naggings she got from her mother ever. She loved the time when her mother used to make her favorite dishes during special occasions. She missed the noisy Diwalis she had during the chilling winters of vishakapattanam. She missed her nostalgic memories that mesmerized her completely. She was sad because she wasn't as happy as she was before.
	Tapan came over and sprinkled his water from his wet head over lily. Lily got irritated, but liked it in real. Mother came with milk glasses and biscuits for both of them, lily tried to bring a smile on her neutral face. Father came over to scold tapan, but his eyes caught lily's rough caricatures. He began praising lily for that. Lily had a white smile over her lips and she realized that she was happy.
	'At last, I realized that I was just getting a bit lonely. I like when people are around me. Everyone does and with change in time we also need to change. This is my last notion about the childish thought of being a child forever. It's quiet strange that whenever I start thinking as if I am being neglected, everyone comes up and get friendlier to me.'
	But she knew that it was all due to just she was sitting alone in the room, cramped room. The rain grew louder and boisterous, more and more live. The feeling of happiness and unhappiness balanced. 'Actually, when we are happy, we forget about our past bad and sad times!' the best thought Sisirjhali ever thought.






-Priyanka Hansda