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Novel Prologue: Awakening
By
Dorian
| Posted:
11 February 2010
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Have you ever.
.Woken from a dream, a state of consciousness so similar to reality as to render the two realms practically indiscernible. As the world conjured within the confines of your skull expands at incomprehensible pace into the world beyond your eyes, you flicker between what stands before you, and the lingering reverie of your sub-conscious imaginings: grasping at the edges of soft thin memories in the hope of clinging on to some solid sensible image. Your sensory reconnaissance faculties; scouring the concrete world for sense data and relaying it to your mind, conjuring fleeting images from the blooming, buzzing confusion around. The mind slowly awakens to its responsibilities, shaking off the settled night dust and stretching its languorous cognitive limbs, in preparation for its perpetual task of interpreting the phenomenal world. Underneath your body your skin presses against the soft green grass; the sweet, smell of early morning dew, washing the pungent aromas of natures morning into one intoxicating miasma and permeating your olfactory consciousness, vibrant oranges and yellows bear down upon your sensitive eyes, forcing them open to a squint as the morning sun, slowly revealing itself to the slumbering half of the world, scorches your fragile, confused eyes: eyes accustomed to darkness, shocked by the pain of mornings brightness. You roll your head to one side to hide your sensitive face from the intensity of the sun; the dew-laden grass beneath you brushes against your lips, wetting the dry splits. Running your tongue around the bone-dry, cracked lips, you recognise the taste of blood: that salty, dry metallic taste. The sun, slowly progressing to its midday resting place, makes you evermore aware of the cold damp earth beneath you and a chilling paroxysm grips your fragile, confused body.
The body, stiff, cold and anonymous slowly bent at the waist and raised its sleep sodden head. The torso and face bore untraceable scrapes and bruises, reflected in the countenance, wincing at each burning ache that accompanied even the most delicate muscle movement. Lengths of dark brown hair jutted and flowed without regularity, faint remnants of a parting suggested that the unkempt style was once neatly partitioned; the body bore no resemblance to civility now. Blurred shapes, colours, outlines, are all one, an immeasurable mass of sense data, filtering through the receptors and falling, falling, falling onto the hard exterior of the brain as if the tightly furrowed, pensive brow were clenching the very muscles of rational thought: the data cannot be categorised, nothing can make sense, out innate concept of unity means nothing if reason cannot divulge sense from our surroundings.
***
All articles on this website by
Dorian are copyright ©Dorian and should not be reproduced
without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their
respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
| Comments | |
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Ah... Dorian, while this piece might be a good exercise in descriptive writing, it's also a good example of what not to do: beating around the bush. (Ha! Ha!)
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I dont understand how it is beating around the bush?
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HI and welcome.
I agree with bobchoi. This is a very descriptive piece, but it is not the intro to a novel. By that I mean that there is no story. If you boil it down, it is a description of waking from a dream while lying on grass. nothing else happens. Your descriptive talents are very good, and it seems that you enjoy the beauty of language. It may be that I look upon writing in a much simpler way than you and I am missing something.
You have talent, but at the moment it may be for a select readership.
Sorry that I could not be more helpful.
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I agree with you both, this is not a major 'event' in the plot of the novel, however, in reality, it constitutes little more than the first page. I don't mean to seem arrogant in suggesting a parallel with my opening and a major work of Joyce, however, one of the most pioneering and celebrated novels of the 20th century, 'Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man', divulges little more plot information in its opening few pages, than conveying a few, apparrently miscelanious reels of the protagonist's youthful 'stream of conscious': these reels later turn out to be a summary of every theme in the novel. All i am saying is that the meaning of the first few pages of a novel do not necessarily have to be a direct kickstart into the plot. I like the idea of the opening paragraphs being slightly abstracted from the plot to allow the reader(s) ambiguous, varied pre-conditional readings of the rest of the chapter.
Still, thank you for your comments and thank you for your welcome Churchmouse, i am glad to be part of a community of writers with genuine purpose and love of writing.
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I agree with you both, this is not a major 'event' in the plot of the novel, however, in reality, it constitutes little more than the first page. I don't mean to seem arrogant in suggesting a parallel with my opening and a major work of Joyce, however, one of the most pioneering and celebrated novels of the 20th century, 'Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man', divulges little more plot information in its opening few pages, than conveying a few, apparrently miscelanious reels of the protagonist's youthful 'stream of conscious': these reels later turn out to be a summary of every theme in the novel. All i am saying is that the meaning of the first few pages of a novel do not necessarily have to be a direct kickstart into the plot. I like the idea of the opening paragraphs being slightly abstracted from the plot to allow the reader(s) ambiguous, varied pre-conditional readings of the rest of the chapter.
Still, thank you for your comments and thank you for your welcome Churchmouse, i am glad to be part of a community of writers with genuine purpose and love of writing.
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Dorian, your reply to my comment is spot on. It served me right! Sometimes I forgot that I was a Chemistry major and worked all my life in market research and has only recently picked up creative writing as a hobby. You write in a style that's quite new to me ... I kept looking for a plot or theme (analyzing) when I should simply follow where the words would take me. Thanks for opening my mind to a different dimension. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Thanks Bobchoi, i am glad by retort was of significance in helping you understand. I know it is a bit of an odd style but i feel it can often inspire the imagination of the reader if the interpretation of the text is not firmly nailed to the writers intentions.
I will probably be uploading the first parts of Chapter 1 soon and would appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Thanks
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Kudos
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From 1 votes
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Total posts: 44
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Roles:
Writer
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UNITED KINGDOM
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I am a young student; I am just trying to express what i spend so much of my time mulling over in my mind. One of the beauties of bearing a reserved attitude and pensive countenance, is the freedom to ... (Read more)
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