The Writers' Circle

BEV
You're such a tease, Gordon. To hear you talk, people would think I was a right dog. But we both know you fancy me really. And one day you won't be able to resist the temptation. One day you won't be able to contain your lust for me.

GORDON
I wouldn't bet on it.

BEV
Anyway, what d'ya want to go and sleep in the car for? You should have come over to our 'ouse. I'd 'ave put you up.

GORDON
That's what I was afraid of.

BEV
No, I don't mean like that. Well, maybe I did. But you could have slept on the sofa. Of course, I'd 'ave 'ad to ask me Mum. She's not keen on people staying over, not after what 'appened last time.

GORDON
I suppose I've got to ask. What happened last time?

BEV
'e threw up on the sofa.

GORDON
Why, did he see you in your nightie without make-up? 

BEV
No. 'e was drunk.

GORDON
Well that figures. Anyone considering a romantic liaison would have to be either drunk, blind or insane, or probably all three.


BEV
It weren't anything like that. It was my cousin. 'e stayed with us the night after me Dad's funeral.

GORDON
Oh I see. I'm sorry.

BEV
Not as sorry as my Mum was. She never could shift the stain from the sofa. We 'ad to buy a new one from the insurance money.