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3:00am Surprise

By lomliyavi | Posted: 03 March 2010

Views: 327
3:00am Surprise

Did I sleep today? What is this thunder shaking inside me?  My eyes staring at a white cotton bedsheet covered with dust . A white cotton bedprotector underneath with red stains,  I want to wash and clean this bedroom before I leave, but I can't. This bedroom has a nice scent, I feel like I'm on Cloud nine.  The master is not happy. I'm giving up my bedroom to a total stranger but a lover of my dear master. I feel the sharp edge of a blade dig into my chest and my legs feel like they're stuck cement, unable move.  Though I have this pain inside me, my soul wants to stay and I'm still trying to get his attention and love, just maybe, he will say, please stay.
  
Hey wake up, it is not going to happen.  Leave some respect for myself.  Respect for me to move on and step ahead, don't look back,  pins will strike you again straight to your heart.  Just stop it, no pains, no sorrow, no tears.  Let the steam from my eyes wipe out my misery in the past and let the rising sun light up my path in many rays of life,  the life of the living truth.   Let my wonderful days be remembered. Be truthful to myself and be a shining shield for my own fruits. 

Will I ever forgive him and myself for what had happen?  Will he ever love me again?  Will he ever cry and mourn when it's my time to go?  Why I'm here in this cruel world?   Is it because of these sorrow, aches and pains?  If I don't exist, who will be in this situation?  

Are we here in this world because  of the circle of life and the end of the living is death?  Where is the end of infinity and beyond?  Can we think of it as neverending sufferings in our life span and generations to come?  No time to waste with these declining days, a short term of joy, happiness and energy to fight for our rights, freedom and good life.  

Sometimes it is confusing to figure out, if it is really my fate to fight for my happiness and fight for my borrowed life.  I have to stand for what I believe is right for my freedom. Trace and make my own destiny.  Having freedom to make mistakes, get hurt  and eventually I will get it right the second time.  

I'm definitely sure, a new beginning is in each corner of my eyes, passing through my brain so my new heart will be revived, though the living cells of new life are already taken out by surprise.
All articles on this website by lomliyavi are copyright ©lomliyavi and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
m n m n I
03 March 2010
Powerful story enigmatically written for us to discover the reality
The dream is the reality
She was violated by a man 
He became her husband (or partner)
He treated her like a slave, perhaps also as a sex slave and isolated her from the rest of the world (the bedroom)
He was promiscuous
He had a new lover or mistress
She's being torn apart: To stay or not to stay in the relationship?
But he already left her and their children (the fruits that she'd "be a shining shield")
She could settle just being loved
even though she didn't have to love him (she didn't say) --
perhaps for the sake of the family
She's afraid of the consequences of the sin to the generations to come 
She's moving on and taking back her dignity
although she was devastated by the unpleasant 3:00 am surprise that her husband left her 
She also found herself free . . .

Welcome to the Writers Circle, lomliyavi
Beaner
03 March 2010
You did a good job on this piece of writting, keep it up.
lomliyavi
04 March 2010
Thank you m n m n i,  three different women actually.

A sick and dying wife, only few days remaining in her life and still longing for love and peace for her and everyone.

A forgotten partner 

and yes you are correct here ,
An unwanted wife,  freedom and happiness her  only dream.  The second level of her life, new beginning , fresh and start  an everending circle of life with love, happiness and peace.
lomliyavi
04 March 2010
Beaner,  Thank you  for your comments.
m n m n I
04 March 2010
I think you can write a poem
with this also
About a dying wife
then a forgotten partner
and an unwanted wife
GenieRaine
04 March 2010
Didn't know you were able to write so well. Waiting for your next "surprise".
Evita Sagalongos
04 March 2010
I agree, you write well.
lomliyavi
04 March 2010
Thank you GenieRaine,

You can see Invisible man thru his white shadow. Seek and find his best
lomliyavi
04 March 2010
Thank you Evita
Anonymous
04 March 2010
I knew all the time that you could write.  It didn't surprise me at all.  Good work, Avi!
taylorswift97
05 March 2010
This is really good and shows alot of emotion! I really enjoyed this.
lomliyavi
05 March 2010
taylorswift Thank you, your comment is a booster like an extra protein in my daily energizer smoothy/shake drink.
Beaner
08 March 2010
Good job... you did really good:)
Keiron
28 March 2010
Reads like a poem in prose. 
Full of questions - asks why we still ask why? Portrays a heartfelt sense of the fragility in which relationships are made, broken, but which, for many are ultimately the source from which they draw renewed strength.
One thing you made me think about here, which I must admit I found a little hard to follow - though nowhere near to the extent that my attempt to explain what I mean below will show - was your describing 'living' as 'borrowed life' (as opposed to the idea of 'our own life' lived as it were on borrowed time). 
For me, at least, if we take this view on board its calls into question what is asserted in the next line where I/we/you make our 'own destiny . . . . . Having freedom . . . .etc'. If 'borrowed' then how far do we take responsibility for, or even therefore, are gambling with something that ultimately is not ours?
Perhaps too we might ask, from what or whom etc. do we borrow our lives from?  
A niggly most probably pointless point to make - but which I nonetheless  include, because I enjoyed this piece overall - more so as it gave me pause to stop, reread and think more deeply about the things you so ably refer. 
Looking forward to reading more like this.

Writer
lomliyavi

Total posts:
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Roles: Writer
New South Wales, AUSTRALIA
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