The Writers' Circle

It's not easy being a monster. Do you really think I want to be this way? Everybody complaining about you, telling you, you're too big and you don't do your job properly because of your size. 
It's not nice. I try my best and yes my size doesn't help but I do get most of the tasks done and come on, look at the amount of people I see and the amount of different problems they have. 
I know you all reckon I get given too much of your money, but I am a huge monster and all the stuff I need to do my task is very expensive and lets face it you don't get a bad service out of me (and nearly all of it free). 
I must admit some times you have a right to complain about the length of time you have wait to get what you want. My boss (an even bigger monster) says I am getting better at this and the list of people waiting has got less. That's got to be a positive hasn't it?
This huge undertaking isn't helped by people getting sick and clogging up my work spaces with their coughing and spluttering. I put useful information and guidelines on my (and my bosses) website to help you get well but there are so many of you 'not well' at the moment (9000 cases in the last week according to my web site) that I am struggling to do my job properly.
 All of this is made so much harder by all the guidelines and charters I have to follow and the targets, goals and budgets to meet (not met due to the cost of all these flashy websites). It gives my boss and me such a headache.
Look I may be a monster but I'm only human and not a robot, so some times little errors creep in now and again and somebody ends up at the wrong place or gets the wrong    part /extra bits. I can only apologise for these and promise to keep within the problem ratio guidelines (upper limit).
 I do get very upset when I'm made out in the media to be a bottomless money pit that will forever suck away your hard earned money. I am not a money grabbing villain who just wastes all the money I'm given. I do try my best and will always have your best interests at heart. 
Not all the monster relatives have done that great since Mrs Thatcher sold them to you. My cousin BT's prices and services are always being moaned about and that he is too much of a faceless monster.
My second cousin British Railways fared no better. You chopped her up and turned her into several regional monsters and look where that got you.
There are lots of monsters (public and private) out there, but they are all trying their best, so please be patient with my family and me.
I must finish now as I have several cost cutting incentives to implement and have to write a letter justifying myself to the public.

Regards

NHS