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Teen Troubles

By Strawberry JAM | Posted: 16 March 2010

Views: 171
I like him, I think I like him, I don't like him. Oh, help! Sorry, I'm being rude, my name is Rosie Smith and I think that I like a boy in my year, called James John. To add to my stress, he likes my best friend, Natalie, and he doesn't even know that I exist. 

"Rosie? Phone!" my mum yelled up the stairs, then added " It's a boy!" she grinned at me and because I was in such a bad mood I shot an evil look at her. She got the message and left the room.
"Hello?" I barked into the phone, not realising who it was.
"Hi, Rosie, It's me, James from school. I wanted to ask you an important question," My heart skipped a beat. I managed to let a few words slither out of my dry mouth.
"Yes, of course," I started to smile at myself as I hoped the question was what I wanted it to be.
"Your friend, Natalie, is she single? If yes, can I have her number I want to ask her out." he said, as my heart sunk back to reality. Of course, Natalie, why didn't I think of that? I told him that she was single and gave him her number. I entered my 'I hate the male half of the world' mood.  My big brother came out of his room and asked me what was wrong. I replied with:
"Boy troubles, don't ask, if you do I will bite your head off. Okay?"  He nodded and walked away. I suddenly felt bad.

I reached for my mobile and sent Natalie a text
'NAT, JAMES ASKING YOU OUT. R X'
I lay back on my bed and started to wonder if she would accept. I really hope she doesn't. 

A crowd started to form around me as people started to ask me if it's true, Natalie and James are an item. Obviously, she had accepted.  Great, thanks Natalie, you have just ruined my life. The crowd that was around me suddenly drifted away to Natalie, who was just walking through the school gates, looking totally perfect, as usual. Golden hair blowing in the breeze, make up not smudged, and sun light sitting on her perfect bag. 

Then me, a fat blob with the wind messing up my hair, eye shadow smudged, and sun light getting into my eyes so that I could hardly see, and I was squinting.
All articles on this website by Strawberry JAM are copyright ©Strawberry JAM and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
churchmouse
16 March 2010
Hi StrawberryJam. I thought that this was a very good piece. I sneaked a look at your other pieces, and this is much, much better.
I very much liked the self depreciating humour in it. Very well done indeed.
taylorswift97
16 March 2010
I have critiqued your work as follows -

[First impressions]
I found your work interesting and believable
[Plot]
I thought your plot moved forward in a structured way
[Characters]
I felt that the characters were real people, and they are very relatable with their feelings and what they go through.
[Overall comments]
I think the StrawberryJam's writing has improved, and this was a great story about teenage problems! I like how she put a little bit of humor into a frustrating situation.

Writer
Strawberry JAM

Total posts:
35
Roles: Writer
Nottingham, UNITED KINGDOM
Hey, I'm Jamie and I love reading and writing. I want to become a writer, TV presenter or Vet when I am older xx