Alone by Hannah94

Sitting in the empty room,
Was a girl, wondering to herself
What happened?

A howling wind took her breath, 
A raging storm surrounded her;
Drowned her out. Made her invisible. Unimportant.

The creaking timbres whimpered quietly 
And tears dripped through the cracks slowly,
Regularly and painfully until the wood splintered from the inside.

Harsh words rang in her head. Swirling round, a whirlpool 
Pulling her down. 
And down.
Words of rejection; I don't love you.
Soft and warm was the last kiss. The last touch. The last longing gaze.

Reality encroaches upon her mind,
Nowhere to hide.

She is alone.

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Comments

franki

18 March 2010

I really like this. I like your descriptions. ;)

m n m n I

19 March 2010

Alone 
but better for it
because she had loved

Good work, Hannah

bobchoi

19 March 2010

Hannah,  this is the first poem you posted here.  I like it a lot.  Well-chosen, simple words that describe strong, complex emotions; structured yet free-flowing, resonates without rhyming.  Good job!

Grampa Pogi

19 March 2010

Rejection and loneliness.  Invisible and Unimportant.  Harsh words. What could be worse?

Your poem is pensive and thoughtful. Dispirited melancholy. The heavyheartedness of the words of rejection *I don't love you* echoed with black biled despondency. And now, *She is alone*.

Good poem  . . . and on a positive note, when she's down, the only way is *up*.

Grampa

Also see: Grim Nation (AlienRose) • You're dreaming... (GenieRaine) • Fix You (GenieRaine) • What is in a name. That which we call ***** *** *****? (Shakespril) • Death of a Sonnet (Shakespril) • Summer Solace (katrinasamantha) • Midnight Storm (Edited and Extended) (taylorswift97) • A Relationship Haiku (Grampa Pogi) • Afflatus (Shakespril) • Wandering Bones (AnnBowerty)

Kudos

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Writer Hannah94	Total posts: 12
Roles: Writer

Cardiff, UNITED KINGDOM

Used to be innocent Currently learning Hope to one day understand Always Hannah xx Any comments will be recieved gratefully! This is why I signed up to this site! Love reading so I thought I would ... (Read more)

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Genre / category: Poetry