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Chapter 1 - The Talk
By
sarah92
| Posted:
16 August 2010
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"There is no way on earth that I am going to let that happen."
Tony Dyson was doing his best to pace angrily up and down his office, but as it was little bigger than the average shoe cupboard, he wasn't getting very far. He was a balding, middle aged man, though he wore a ginger toupee to hide this and had a pair of reading glasses hung around his neck.
"I'm sorry Mary, but we need a new plan."
Tony's wife sighed, "We don't get to make a new plan. This is going to happen and we have to make the most of it. You never know, maybe they're right, maybe this is for the best."
Tony gaped at her, his whole body shaking with frustration, "How can you say that?" he asked, grabbing his toupee before it fell off his head, "Aren't you even going to try and fight this? Do you want them to leave?"
"Of course I don't," she snapped, "I just know that battling them isn't going to help. We can drag our feet as much as we like, it won't stop them. You can't honestly be surprised? They've been threatening to do something like this for years. We're lucky we've lasted as long as we have."
Tony scowled, but didn't say anything. He had known this day would come eventually, but they had always managed to avoid it. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost Fly by House.
He looked desperately at his wife. She was a middle aged woman with masses of uncontrollable black hair, a kind round face and wore blue, oval glasses.
"They've given us until January 2nd to find Matt and Rosa permanent parents," Mary said, "That gives us less than three weeks and if we haven't managed it by then, they're going to shut us down."
"But why the twins?" he cried.
"Because they've been here the longest."
"But to any reasonable person that would surely mean that they would be the ones who stayed."
"If we don't find them parents by the deadline it won't matter who it is because we'll be shut down anyway and if that happens all the kids will be separated, including Matt and Rosa."
"NO!" Tony shouted, banging his fist on the table and upsetting a pot of pens, "Who would do that to them? It's just cruel. They're only twelve."
"I know," said Mary sadly, "I'm working on trying to keep them together but all Social Services say is that they can't guarantee anything and that we should be putting less of our energies into thinking about what might happen and more into finding them parents."
"Couldn't we adopt them?" Tony asked, "Then no one could take them away."
"Over crowding is the whole reason they're doing this and that wouldn't solve it. We've already got three kids per room as it is, we're at breaking point. Merlin's leaving, but even that won't free us up enough space."
"But we've tried hundreds of potential parents for Matt and Rosa and none of them have been right," said Tony, "How are we meant to do in three weeks what we've failed in nine years?"
"I don't think Social Services expect us to manage it. I think they expect us to try and fail and then they'll swoop in and shut us down for good."
Tony swore savagely under his breath, "What are we going to tell the twins?"
"Nothing, let's try and find them parents first. We don't want to worry them if we don't have to."
Tony nodded grimly, as outside on the landing Matt and Rosa Ford looked at each other as the realisation of what they had just heard sank in.
All articles on this website by
sarah92 are copyright ©sarah92 and should not be reproduced
without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their
respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
| Comments | |
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hi,
I personally think it might be a bit too much talking, but what does anyone else think?
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Hi sarah, I wouldn't worry about there being too much talking. Your dialogue was very good, and if that is your strength then you should play to it. I'm pretty lousy at dialogue and so most of my stuff is narration. Horses for courses I suppose.
Anyway the story was pretty good. One minor comment - It might be advisable to cut down on the character descriptions as they slow the story down and make the reader concentrate on remembering the physical characteristics of the characters rather than what's happening in the story, a general (loose) rule is to introduce character description when it is relevant to the story rather than a way of filling space, as the reader will automatically have a mind's eye of what Tony and Mary look like and unless it's important to know that Mary wears blue oval glasses it's unnecessary to state it.
That said, you have the imagination to think of a storyline, and that's the main thing. The idea of the site is to improve one's writing, and the more you write and receive comments (and give them to others) the better your writing will become.
Welcome to the circle, I hope that you have a lot of fun here.
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thanks churchmouse that is really useful information. I was starting to think it must be terrible because no one had commented. Thanks x
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The level of comments tend to ebb and flow a bit. At the moment they are a bit scarce, but no doubt they will pick up again soon. It has very little to do with the writing submitted and is probably due to the "regulars" all happening to be busy with other things at present. Don't worry about it, just keep writing, reading and sending stuff in and you will be surprised how quickly and ( generally) painlessly everything starts to improve. C;
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yeah, thanks. I've just uploaded chapter two so hopefully people will start to notice my writing
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Kudos
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From 2 votes
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Total posts: 10
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Roles:
Writer
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hi,
My name is sarah and I just turned 18. Being a writer is the only thing i can ever see myself doing. It's the only thing that makes me genuinely excited every time I do it. I've written a novel which ... (Read more)
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