The Writers' Circle

I'm Emily Jones and I live in a Children's Home with my twin brother Taylor, and five other children. When our mum was given permission to visit us, we were ecstatic; little did we know that that one day would be full of life or death decisions.

"Emily, Taylor, can you come into the office for a minuet?" Mick asked, poking his head round the office door. I looked at Taylor, trying to read his face, guessing if he knew what was going to happen, because I defiantly didn't,
"We have had several letters from your mum, as you know, and," He held up a piece of paper, "We didn't think she would be approved, but she was," Mick handed us the letter, telling Mick and Pam, the two care workers at the Home, that our mum was allowed to visit, but not take us out, due to the fact that she has a slight mental illness and her mood could turn at any time. For what must have been only seconds, but felt like hours, Taylor and I just looked at each other, as if we were trying to work out how to react,
"That's amazing! When can she visit?" Taylor asked, almost falling over his words trying to get them out.
"Next week. But, she can only visit if both of you approve," Mick looked over at me, "If you don't want to see her, its okay." I shook my head still in shock,
"No, I want her to come," I whispered. 

In the living room, five faces looked over to us, expecting answers. You can't get any privacy in this place, if there is a secret, within days everyone here will know. I can only trust one person with my secrets, Ruby. She lives here with me and she has stuck by me through everything. Most people would expect twins to be closer than anyone else, but, Taylor and I have never had a strong bond. He has always blamed me for mum leaving us at home for days on end. He has never said this, but he doesn't need to tell me, I can tell by the way he looks at me. Mum and him were really close, but when I started looking for my dad, and asking about my dad, she was never really the same. She started crying more, and more, and once, when I got really close to finding Dad, she stopped me, and I started shouting at her a lot. Taylor has never been as happy being around me as before.

"Tell me," Ruby insisted, I knew I had to tell her, best friends don't take no for an answer in these situations,
"My Mum is coming," I replied, I didn't have to say anymore, it was like Ruby could read my mind, and she just hugged me, she didn't speak, just hugged me. That's all she needs to do, and I can feel one hundred times better,
"Well, do you want her to come?" Ruby asked, using her 'Be-nice-Emily-isn't-happy' voice. I shrugged. I really didn't know. On one hand, she was my mum, the only real mum that I could ever have. I could have foster mums or adoptive mums, but never another blood mum. Yet, on the other hand, Taylor and I were starting to get along and become real family, and she could re-surface old problems. What if she had one of her turns? I might never get another opportunity to see her. The most important thing going through my mind was Taylor. If I turn mum away, he might never forgive me, and Taylor is to important to loose,
"I'm going to see her," I said, not as confidently as I wanted to, though, "For Taylor. I'm going to see my mum, and I haven't seen her in six years, and I only have one week to prepare."

There was a knock at the door, I knew it was her. I was correct. I was sat by my window with Ruby, Jessica and Ellie. Jessica and Ellie live here to, and they are part of our group of five best friends. Amelia had been adopted one month ago, and we all missed her. There was no time to think about Amelia, because Pam and Mick were shouting me,
"Emily, come on your mother is here," a flood of regret washed through my body, I wasn't ready. She might be in one of her moods. I couldn't go down, but I had to. I found myself walking down the stairs into the living room, my heart pounding.
"Hello Emily," a sweet voice said. In the living room, I could see everyone I lived with looking at me. The pressure to say something was getting higher by the second. So I did. And I regret every word of it,
"So, no dad then?" I meant this as a joke, but mum took it the wrong way,
 "Emily, I've travelled for three hours, and all you can think about is your dad?" She stood up, and Mick and Pam stood in between us. Taylor was behind mum. His worst fears were coming true because of me. Finding mum and loosing her. I couldn't do this to him; I had to calm mum down,
"No, mum, sit down, I didn't mean it," I said putting my hand on her shoulder. Millions of questions, were racing through my mind, so many that I couldn't put them into real sentences. Has she been getting help? Does she have a new man in her life? Has she been in contact with dad? Why does she want to see us? 
"Emily, Taylor, Miss. Jones? Why don't we go into the kitchen so you can all talk?" Pam offered. I nodded; glad to get out of the tense atmosphere. All three of us walked into the kitchen, followed by Pam and Mick,
"We'll leave you to talk," Said Mick, backing out of the kitchen, "Just shout if you need us, okay?" Taylor nodded, and started chatting to mum,
"So, mum, were you living now?"
"Mum, how's everything been?" Endless questions. She never asks anything about us. Never did when we lived with her. Six years and she doesn't want to know,
"Emily? Hello? Earth to Emily?" I could hear Taylor, and I could see mum looking at me as if I were damaged. I didn't want to speak. 
"What?" I snapped, making Taylor jump back a little,
"You weren't speaking, and mum wants to say something," he turned to mum and looked at her adoringly, I just looked down, towards her, but not at her,
"Emily, will you look at me please?" Mum's voice became dangerous, I couldn't say no to anything. So I looked at her. For six years, I haven't seen my mum. I've seen my mum in the past, for nine years before we came into care, but I have never really looked at her. I used to think she was strong, brave, but she looked, weak and helpless, as if her whole world relied on Taylor and I forgiving her,
"I want you to come and live with me," she said. The whole world stopped. I'd love to get to know my mum, but it was way too dangerous, her moods, her temper, my desperation to know who my dad was. At that moment, Mick came in,
"Miss. Jones, social services wont allow you to take Emily and Taylor home, unless you have anger management classes, and pills to control your moods," the second he said this, I looked towards mum, knowing she would never take any pills, or go to classes,
"I'll take my kids when I'm good and ready. Understood?" she stood up, her voice more dangerous than I had ever heard in my life,
"Emily, Taylor, go into the living room, so we can calm your mum down," Mick didn't dare take his eyes off mum while he said this.

In the living room we explained what had happened. Normally, I would be the one in the corner thinking, but Taylor needed to think, so I filled everyone in,
"She is really scary; I didn't say much, much Taylor seemed quite happy to say everything for me," after about five minuets of telling everyone, one noise make my world turn upside down.
CRASH. Mum had lost it. And there's nothing anyone can do to calm her down now.