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the heart of a hero : chapter one
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my name is charlie, charlie pierce. I am a seventeen year old girl in a world most wouldn't understand. It is the year 2014 and the human race has been over run by a humaniod species called the dragkos, a vampire /dragon hybrid. The king of this dark race ,Vandidarius ,has currently died. His son ,Draiko, will soon take the throne. I will not lie .My tale has no happy ending ,but i feel it must be told.
in the end to save the lives of the people i care about,i must die. would you lay down your life for thoses you love?
i'm charlie and this is my story...
i looked around cautiously. my heart was hammering in my chest. to be caught out after curfew ment you forfeit your life. Gee, King Draiko sure knows how to keep people in line. i paced frantically , waiting on Rage, my ride to my guild's secrect hide out. there my companions and i were to consort the oracle, delphine and see what humanity's fate was. i was shaking from nerves. i swallowed the lump forming in my throat and took a deep breathe. a hand on my shoulder made me jump. " dang it ,rage! you frightened me!" i squealed quietly.
" sorry, milady. let's move." he whispered softly. his ebony eyes were twinkling gently. "shhh!" i whispered sharply and searched frantically for signs of the dragkos. my heart beat like a caged bird in my ribs, " let's move" i whispered fiercely . we darted from alley to alley, like frightened rabbits. "stop!" someone shouted. Rage and I froze. a dragkoian solider approached. "identification!" he barked ,flashing long white predator's teeth. i reached slowly into my pocket and pulled out my i.d card.
All articles on this website by
wolfeyesofgoldenrays are copyright ©wolfeyesofgoldenrays and should not be reproduced
without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their
respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
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One, you misspelled "Prolouge".
Two, the prince has a name very similar to me.
Three, It sounds very promising.
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one:thank you, drake. two: i know that,but last i checked you wasn't an evil homicidal guy. three: hopefull it will be finished by the summer.
wolfy
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An interesting beginning - I've chosen to begin my story 'Fin's Journey' too with a prologue - an invitation to readers to come and further explore this fantastic new world of dragons and kings and wondering where the story will take them next.
I wonder, are you still undecided - at the outline-stage perhaps - on the course of actions and events for which you set up nicely here your narrrator Charlie to tell? Or have you already mapped them out in detail, maybe written most if not all the story already?
If undecided still, I think this opening stands you in good favour, simply because it leaves possibilities wide open to you. If you are in the final stages of writing however, I would suggest in the next paragraph or two you move straight into the action so to speak, aim at the the so-called 'hook' that any story needs if it is to keep the reader reading past the first page. I liked this and am looking forward to reading more.
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thanks. i figured it give you a better insight to charlie.lol
wolfy
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Kudos
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From 7 votes
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Total posts: 200
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Roles:
Writer
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tennessee, UNITED STATES
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hey it's wolfy(also known as red,harley, miku,or angel). :D i am a musician who loves to write all kinds of poetry,songs, and stories. i am gonna persue a career ... (Read more)
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