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this is good. i think it would be better if you made it longer though... it leaves me thinking 'what IS going on?? whats going on with the spine chilling cries and the yells of terror?! and whats going to happen once he manages to open the garage door? what will he find outside?'
i'll be up all night, wondering what will happen! you HAVE to write more on this, ok?!! :D
i like the style you did it in.. journal entries by a drunken guy locked in his own garage. its good :) please write more on this one, please please please. i need to know what happens!
x
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I like this style....it hooks the reader in and ask lots of questions....i think you should extend it but mantain the same atmosphere....but its awesome anyway :)
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