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I don't know. It just seemed like this poem was all over the place. You start out by talking about light, then it seems your descriptions didn't really hold to what the poem started out talking about (which I thought was natural light) the rest of just seemed out of place. To me, the words were well placed, but the imagery wasn't there.
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It's a little confusing. I'm not sure if some of the confusion arises from your punctuation. For instance I don't understand what "Forced on the floor," belongs to. It's a little like you've written the poem via 'free association.'
Actually the fact that it is 'puzzling' is no bad thing. It makes the reader think - which is the fundamental purpose of poetry. Please take a look at it again, make some revisions, and I do think you can make a good poem out of the raw bones you have here. There is the essence of something good here but you do need to make each of the individual sentences make sense, I feel.
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I appreciate your comments and believe all criticism to be constructive. However, as you have pointed out Carl, this poem is meant to be interpreted in any way the reader sees it.
It has, as many of my other poems and micro novels do, a sort of abstract feel. Nothing distinct, but more general. Catering for the imagination of the reader.
Some of my other work is on this site, please feel free to compare, and may I say again; I appreciate all comments.
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