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Lost

By evakaye | Posted: 09 December 2008

Views: 296
This cloud of deep despair
decends upon me;
drowns me in its fog -
leaving no hope
showing no mercy
Tangled in its dark veil
I stand, lost,
the thunder and the rain
all around
All articles on this website by evakaye are copyright ©evakaye and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
Carl
11 December 2008
A good poem again! I think you should get rid of 'in the confusion'; it negates the effect you are achieving.

Just have 'I stand, lost', I think.

Perhaps you should punctuate the poem a bit more.
RobanLtil
12 December 2008
Not bad at all, I quite like it.
There are some Punctuation issues, but no matter.
evakaye
12 December 2008
yeah, im not sure of the punctuation on this one...can anyone help me out? thanks
Mr Richard
04 February 2009
A very strong poem .

Writer
evakaye

Total posts:
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Roles: Writer
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