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Very good, actually. It really is a sonnet, except a couple of the lines don't have 10 syllables. I'm not so keen on the first two lines, but the rest is very good.
I've never written a successful sonnet myself, so my hat is off to you :D
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Thanks Carl. I've just looked up on how many syllables a sonnet is supposed to have and realized that some of my lines didn't have enough. Well, you learn something about writing every minute of your life.
This piece was actually a portfolio piece I have to do in school. I could use this as one of my pieces, but my teacher told me that I would recieve an apprentice (minimal) on it (I really want a proficient or distinguish!)
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dude (or dudette) but somehow i think you are a guy (sorry if you arent LOL) xx
this is really REALLY good. i like it. unfortunately i dont understand this bit -
"While the Church pulled the witches' noses,
York and Lancaster- harbingers of doom-
Claimed the throne with spears and doses
To place the other faction in the tomb."
although i probably just dont understand it becuase i dont know anything about the subject of the poem! i dont know what you mean by the Church pulling the witches noses, or what doses means, or faction. ok i better shut up now becuase im sure you are just really clever and im stupid and im making myself sound really thick LOL
its good, really good actually, and i only wish i knew what the first few lines meant!! hehe. xx keep writing, you have talent.
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Thanks evakaye for the review. It would be hard to know what the piece is talking about if you don't know the subject. History staes that the Wars of the Roses were a series of civil wars from 1455 to 1487 set in England between two royal families: York and Lancaster. Both branches descended from some guy that was king (forgot what his name is), and he had sons (I think they were five of them.) Two of those sons had children, and their families were the House of York and the House of Lancaster. Henry V, A Lancasterian, ruled England before the war started, but he started to have mental issues. Eventually England was in chaos and the Yorkist thought they should deserve the seat, a statement prvoking the Wars of the Roses. The Wars lasted for 32 years, and the Lancasterians won. They combined York and Lancaster and formed the House of Tudor (named after Henry Tudor, the winner and ruler of Egnland at the end.)
If you didn't understand when I said "red rose" and "white rose," I can't blame you. The red rose represents Lancaster while the white rose represented York. The Tudor House has a red and white rose combined together. Also, with the Church pulling the witches' noses, I was talking figuratively about the Inquisition, another big event happening during this time. Wars of the Roses occurred at the same time as the Inquisition, though the Inquisition started since the 12th or 13 century. When I'm said doses, I meant poision. I think one of the kings were poisioned.
Anyway, I hope this help clarify the poem for you.
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I think this is an excellent piece of writing be it sonnet or verse, the skillful way you have encorporated history of the wars of the roses shows your talent in more than one fireld, well done. Keep up the brilliant talent.
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Thank you guys for your comments! I have a lot more to learn (we all have something to learn right!), but your comments encourage me to become an even better writier. Again, thanks for the comments, and good luck with all your writing!
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