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As you can see by the incredibly long title, this is not a type of story that is written for posh ladies. As you may know if you have just read it.
I think the title represents something more, so I gave it the name Plain Grey Dresses...well actually, I don't know why I called it that. I just had a GIANT brain-wave and the idea formed inside my head.
I hoped you like the story anyway (with/out the incredibly long and detailed title, well it's just actually Plain Grey Dresses but with a load of mumbo-jumbo on the end of it)!
L.O.L.!!!!!
Jessie122
P.S. I'd love to read your comments so please post them. I'm always looking for ways to improve my work!! B) :D :) ;-)
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I think you really need to work on this...it's too confusing...and it's rushed...develop the characters, scenery etc....and focus on what you want the story to be about...but your punctuation is very good...work on this and it could be very good...develop your ideas... :)
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I liked this story!
Even though I did not know the characters very well, I still felt pained when Doreen saw Arthur in the state that he was in, I think you conveyed her emotions without stating or describing them.
You could defiantly extend it in places, and devlop the speech - I think that this particular scene should go on for longer.
-Chloerose
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Interesting for the beginning. It is something that I could get into, depending on where it leads from here. For the most part, I enjoyed it.
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i got confused at the start beween the jug and the silver tray. The sentence wants rephrasing. I alsothink you need to describe your surroundings more. Apart from that it seems like it could be a good story
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I have critiqued your work as follows -
[First impressions]
The story was rushed, and hard to follow. The events didn't really come together, making it difficult to understand why everything happened. The story needs a bit of work to make it more enjoyable for readers.
[Characters]
The characters were not fully developed. I like reading stories that get you connected to the characters.
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