Disappointed by rubyblaze

DISAPPOINTED

A girl,
A father, disappointed?
A girl,
A mother, celebrating?

A father,
A gentle quiet man.
A mother,
A cold and bitter soul.

Me?
Confused

A father,
Proud of his growing daughter,
A mother,
Losing control

'Your fathers disappointed'
My mother's mantra
'Your mother loves you'
My father's reply

'Your father's evil
He doesn't love you'
'Your mother does her best
Of course she loves you'

Me?
Confused

'Your father! At your wedding?
Ask your brother, ask your sister
They understood.
They did not disappoint me'

A mother's victory
A father's sorrow
Two children poisoned
One child torn. 

A wedding,
A father glowing
My wedding
A mother disappointed

Me?
Confused.

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Comments

Carl

18 December 2008

I enjoyed reading your poem. Complicated family dynamics, I know them too well :P It's impossible to please everybody all of the time...

I'm not sure you need all the question marks - particular the first two (after disappointed and after celebrating) other than that, great!

rubyblaze

18 December 2008

Thank you Carl,

I think you are probably right about the question marks in the first verse.  The reason for adding them at the time was to question which of them was truly the 'disappointed' parent.  The parent who said too little or the parent who said too much, obviously i know who it is.  As you say thats 'family dynamics for you'

Thanks Ruby

Murphy

20 December 2008

Really good but i agree with Carl you dont need the question marks in the first stanza...other than that brillant :)

debbie reynolds

24 December 2008

I didn't notice the question marks, I was too busy reading this brilliant poem! Happy Christmas xxx

audreyhepburn

23 November 2009

like debbie reynolds, didn't even notice the question marks... nice work!

Also see: I am the leaf (Carl) • A Poem about God's special touch (Elisha) • One more love poem (Elisha) • Poem about love, one of the first I ever wrote (Elisha) • A poem about poetry (Elisha) • Super Wal-Mart Man (SouthernPoet) • Night After Night (SouthernPoet) • My Imagination (SouthernPoet) • Coma (wild bill28) • What Is Love (SouthernPoet)

Kudos

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Writer rubyblaze	Total posts: 30
Roles: Writer

leigh-on-sea, UNITED KINGDOM

just starting to try and fulfill a lifetime ambition to write and hopefully have some work published have 3 lovely children 22 21 and 18 who are now working and at university so i have a little more ... (Read more)

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