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I really liked reading this poem! Keep up the good work, I'd love to hear more! Tell me if you write anything else, I'd love to read it!
Thanks,
Jessie122 :)
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Thankyou Jessie122! I'm glad you liked it. I prefer to write poems in this style, but whenever I write a story, I give up after a couple of days.
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Keep trying with your stories! Because you're this good at writing poetry, give story writing a chance, it will come to you in time!
Thanks
Jessie122 :)
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I like this poem. It gives you the supense of someone about to die, but when the gunman pulls the trigger the gun makes a click not a bang, indictating that that the gunman wasted or used all his bullets. Kind of ironic.
Overall liked the work. Keep up the good work!
DeUndrae : )
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Thanks for your comments! I will try to take on board what you have said.
XxFrankiexX :D
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Wow, intense, suspense, feelings of high adrenaline, i dislike guns, but this is a good poem, you've captured the moment very well.
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This is a REALLY good poem and I enjoyed reading it, I really dislike guns too and the way that they have been glamourised.
I love the last line "waving guns like in play"...because that what it is like, guns are not taken seriously by certain people until it too late...!!!
keep up the good work....fantastic
xxx
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I really liked this poem, keep up the good work. :)
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Very well done!
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Hey xxFrankiexx
I love your poem! Do you use a rhyming dictionary to write rhyming poems? To write a rhyming poem like this one, I couldn't do it without one! If you don't have a rhyming dictionary, or use an online one, I would recommend buying the Scholastic Rhyming Dictionary for Young People, it's orange and yellow. Online rhyming dictionaries are useful if you are at the computer, but if you are away from the screen or your Internet access is down, it is very helpful.
Keep writing!
audreyhepburn
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I don't use a rhyming dictionary, I just think of words that rhyme that might work together, then put them in sentences.
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