Darkest Moments by LonelyGirl

In my darkest moments you are my light,
You're the reason I smile and then break down and cry,
My saviour from a place that let me fall,
A world that didn't care at all,
Lost inside my own thoughts, before you, I was alone.
I'm not alone anymore,
There you are.

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Comments

unbridledspirit

22 January 2009

I really like this.  It has real meaning for you I can tell.  

I would suggest some corrections:  Instead of "Your the reason" it should be "You're".  Then "a place that lets me fall" (just add an "s" to let).    Keep on writing!

Don9307

25 January 2009

Another error is in line 5:  "...before you I...."   If you meant to say "I," then "was" is the correct word that would follow.  On the otherhand, if "you" was the word you meant to use, then "were" would be the correct word to follow.

Also see: Long Time Gone (LonelyGirl) • The Watcher (LonelyGirl) • Gone And Forgotten (LonelyGirl) • The Lord Giveth (Varrius) • The swing . (POET2TOEP) • Understand Me.... (blackrose) • In Myself..x (blackrose) • Heart just like the limitless sky! (priyanka) • A Poem- Blowing in the Wind (debbie reynolds) • Shadows (lynne55)

Kudos

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Writer LonelyGirl	Total posts: 8
Roles: Writer

UNITED KINGDOM

I'm Amy and I live with my 3 children, partner, rabbit and 2 turtles in a little village in East Yorkshire. I really enjoy reading and trying my hand at a little of my own work (just for fun) ... mainly ... (Read more)

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Genre / category: Poetry