Namby Pamby

Here's another little sketch. A comic tragedy about a gentleman with an unfortunate name.

NAMBY PAMBY

PSYCHIATRIST :  Ah mr. Pamby do come in. Take a seat please.

N PAMBY :  Thank you.

PSYCHIATRIST :  So how are you feeling today?

N PAMBY :  Oh suicidal.

PSYCHIATRIST :  Oh I see..and for how long have you had these dark feelings.

N. PAMBY :   Oh most of my life really.

PSYCHIATRIST :  Mmm ..Well mr. Pamby I'm sure we can help you.

N PAMBY :  Really.

 PSYCHATRIST:  Oh yes,.. we at Headshrinkers Psychiatric solutions
 specialise in just this sort of thing and have helped many people just like you back onto the wholesome  path of sanity and good mental  health.for a very reasonable fee I might add..So,just to get the ball rolling I'll need to take down some of your details you know address, bank details that sort of thing.                                  

N PAMBY :  Of course.

PSYCHIATRIST : So mr. Pamby I didn't get your first name?

N. PAMBY : It's Namby

PSYCHIATRIST :  Sorry could you spell that please?

N PAMBY : Yes that's N.A.M.B.Y

PSYCHIATRIST : Ah Namby..thought that's what you said.And your date of..wait a minute.. Namby? Namby Pamby?Ha ha ha Is that your name? ha ha ha ha ha ha (Bursts into uncontrollable laughter) Namby Pamby ha ha ho ho etc.

N PAMBY : That's it! I'm goin to jump out of a window!

PSYCHIATRIST : Ha ha ha  ho ha ha ha Namby Pamby!

N. PAMBY: I hate you! I hate you !I hate you!(Runs out and slams door.)

PSYCHIATRIST : Ha ha ha ha .oh dear.


Scene 2 

Mr Pamby is standing on a window ledge several floors up. A mumbling crowd has gathered. An officer with a megaphone is attempting to talk him out of jumping.

N PAMBY : I'm gonna jump ! I am !

OFFICER : Please sir.don't jump,nothing's so bad it can't be fixed.Think how sad your friends will be without you in their world.

N PAMBY : But I don't have any friends.

OFFICER : Oh I see..well think of all the friends you could make. Surely life's not so bad? C'mon you seem like one of the good guys.

N PAMBY : NO! I'm gonna jump!

OFFICER : NO!..Please don't do that. So much to Loose if you jump mr em..

N PAMBY : Pamby

OFFICER : Mr Pamby..now look how upset all these people will be if you were to jump, there's women and children in that crowd mr. Pamby.

N PAMBY : They look like they want me to jump.

OFFICER : No-one wants you to jump mr.Pamby

N.PAMBY : They were just shouting JUMP JUMP!

OFFICER :.. Well maybe just one or two of them.

N.PAMBY : The kids were the loudest! And the mums.

OFFICER : Right..Well all the more reason to defy them!Show them what your really made of mr. Pamby. Step back into the building,show them you want to live!

N PAMBY : .Well when you put it like that.maybe..

OFFICER :Cool..Now we're getting somewhere.By the way my names Chris what's your first name mr Pamby?

N PAMBY : I'ts..Namby.

OFFICER : Ok Namby heres what to do.Very carefully climb back through .Namby? Namby Pamby? Seriously?haha ha ha ha (uncontrollable laughter) ha ha ha NAMBY PAMBY! Hoho ha ha ha etc.

N PAMBY  : (voice descending as he  jumps) You're all the SAAAAAAAAAAAAME! (SPLAT !)