The Writers' Circle

am i doomed to be unhappy for d rest of my life? 
i hope not
is it too late?
yes i know ppl like to say its never too late. but sometimes it is too late.
there is no balm dat u can apply on raw wounds, only wen they stop bleeding will dat work.
how can u heal wen u blame ur self for every bad thing dat happens to ppl around u?
how can u stop hating urself wen u see d evidence in ur face?
will dat change d fact dat uve spent ur whole childhood in a gloomy dark haze n never smiled or let go.
blaming urself for every bad thing dat has happened to ur family.
by now its too late. even if i trust, ppl will someday betray me. its how they r.
n picking d pieces frm there wud be well nigh impossible. 
no its better then to just lie low. n not expect anything frm ppl.
even at d cost of not living...??
yes. better be dead than alive n hurting n abt to die.
kind of like a mercy killing.
there is no place here for anyone.
no warmth, no hospitality, no emotion.
we r dead ppl. we have nothing to give but gloom.
we r not like u a.
yes it mite look we r more sful than u but dats bs.
wat will i do wt money wen theres no one to spend it on?
wat will i do wt status if i cant use it to help anyone?
wat will i do wt power if theres no one to impose it on?
wat will i do wt position if i cant speak wat i want or need?
so wat if ill manage a company if i cant manage my emotions, my guilt, my fear, my insecurity.
these things dont matter. they can only be a consolation prize. 
family matters most is wat i heard once.
really, well then i have very little.
no. it cant be fixed now. d rot is too deep inside me. d infection has infiltrated my every cell.
its too late. wat for. is there anyone that i can change for.
ppl do things for other ppl, not for themselves.
i have no one. why is smthng even i dont know. its not like i dont try.
i try a lot. its just dat god has made up his mind to torment me emotionally.
yes he has given me a lot, but not love. 
all i ever wanted was for someone to love me. i mean dat was everything to me.
but nah... its too good for me apparently.
maybe i have d potential to be volatile, is dat y?
which woman doesnt get angry.doesnt get insecure. doesnt scream n shout n wail n cry n complain n pout n grumble n make fun of her love?
which woman isnt volatile? isnt combustible?
so y deny me. wat did i do. wat cud ive done
have i not suffered enuf. have i not had punishment?
have i not proved my strength. how much more do u want
do u want me to bleed, literally bleed in a figurative way.
do u want me to go mad, is dat where this is going?
well i wont. n i wont give up. my quest for love will continue, whether u like it or not.
so there!!